Consolidate information, seek additional viewpoints and perspectives, think on failsafes to keep my most precious memories intact in case they might be taken from me, make sure that Gulfan's fed himself -
[blanca already knows soo-won's a king, and so there's no point in hiding the mechanisms of his mind - is what he'd like to say, but honestly he'd be this forthcoming with anyone who catches him right after the conversation he had]
Well, let us start with the easiest one: [NEVERMIND THE FOREST, he's just going to corral Soo-Won into heading toward the Food Place by simply using his bulk.] dinner.
Oh, you haven't met yet. A few steps back, if you would.
[or well - rather stay in one place while soo-won walks more into the clearing. he looks to the sky, before raising a hand to his mouth and giving one clean whistle
eventually, a hawk descends from the sky before settling on soo-won's shoulder]
Blanca, this is Gulfan. Gulfan, Blanca.
[the hawk stares at blanca before spreading its wings out
Both brows go up, but he takes half a step back or two. The swoop in of the hawk startles him--he isn't scared, but he's surprised. Deadass, it's a hawk.
He blinks a few times at the hawk, awkwardly smiling. He, uh, raises his hand? in greeting?] Hello, Gulfan. [The surprise turns to intrigue.]
[but gulfan seems to appreciate it, looking pleased before settling comfortably on soo-won's shoulder. soo-won looks him over as best he can from this vantage point before looking back to blanca]
He was waiting in my room when we all arrived, but I've been letting him do as he pleases outside since.
Did you receive something of yours as well?
[given that yona had shackles,,,, for some reason,,]
I'm sure he could very easily take my eyes, if he wanted. I must respect his prowess.
[Please, don't peck him, Mr. Gulfan Hawk, sir.]
Ah, yes. I'm afraid it isn't anything as amazing. The suitcase I had on my journey back to the Caribbean. Unfortunately, it didn't have any of my things inside.
It's odd, isn't it? Does your world lack magic as well?
[he feels like he's been given the short-end of the stick - but only kind of. he has no interest in magic for magic's sake, he just feels like he was less prepared than the others here]
[there's just a brief, mirrored laugh - ] Ah, I suppose so...
Any magic in my country is so rare it's more closely tied to mythology. [to say the least] So to suddenly be faced with the concept of memories tied to a force of magic...
[No, Soo-Won doesn't look worried, but Blanca is not a fool. Ash had been like this, too. Being scared, being worried sent Ash into a frenzied, analytical over-drive.]
I would hate to watch you burn the candle at both ends when we have only just arrived. But it is good to be prepared.
[he asks the question mostly as a curiosity point - he doesn't actually think blanca is.
but he offers a smile anyway]
I'll see about putting a few failsafes in place, and then take to dinner. I'd hate to transfer my gray hair to you because you don't trust me to mind my own well-being.
I suppose I am simply a person who would like to know first that I did everything I could - and then be at peace with myself when the storm comes later.
he didn't expect actual worry - the care manages to pull an actual smile from him, gentle and amused]
I've been thinking on that as well. Does a person need every single one of their memories in order to retain who they are? I don't have an answer. But I don't mind telling you I've only lived for one reason for most of my life.
If I still have that reason, is that all I need to authentically still be me? I'm not sure, but I hope so. Or at least, I hope that I will be enough myself I can look at what I've done when I am whole again, and not feel ashamed.
[the idea of not being wholly in control of himself isn't great - but he supposes he just has to account for what he can, and hope for the best]
What of you, Blanca? When you have nearly twice as many memories as I, purely in terms of time - how do you feel about the possibility of some slipping through your hands?
[He is thoughtfully quiet for a moment or two. Truthfully, he doesn't even think of himself first, when he thinks about the authenticity of a person and their memories.
He wonders what kind of person Ash and Yut-Lung would be, if neither of them had the worst parts of their memories.]
I would be a very different person than I am now. Your memories make you who you are, even the smallest ones. I don't believe it's fair to have to pick and choose which ones are more important.
Even the smile of a friend you take for granted, losing it would mean you wouldn't understand how important it is.
[before he cants his head to the side almost sheepishly]
... I'm afraid, with my position, I rarely get to indulge in such things at all anymore.
Even what I hold dear to me... I have to accept losing it, for my people. Thinking on matters as a person, and not as someone who must take care of the subjects...
I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to do much at all, if I couldn't determine things like that.
But you're right. Even if they are not what I consider vital to my integrity... I think those things are important.
[even if those memories have still caused him more pain lately, than anything else]
[This does not take the frown from his face, or reassure him in the slightest. It's very easy for someone like him to say, "You don't have to do that, you know," but he knows better.
He's spent enough time being caught up in political games. And even if he thinks Ash had been right about being tired of playing a role, even if he is also tired of playing a role, he gets it.]
The good memories are what people are afraid to lose, I'm sure. They will cling to them. But even bad memories, Mister Won, have made you who you are right now.
And you can forget bad memories; many people, especially children, cope by forcing themselves to forget bad memories. But you won't ever not have any bad memories. Even with a clean slate, you will continue to make bad memories as you grow. From accidents, from mistakes.
And without bad memories, you won't have any measure for the good ones.
[ . . . he rights his head then and meets blanca straight-forwardly:]
I do not think I am someone who can afford to forget my bad memories either, Blanca. You needn't worry about me not understanding that distinction.
[most of his memories are bad, despite the disposition he shows. even those that were once good, he turned sour by his own choice. even so, he doesn't intend on shirking responsibility or looking away]
Those in power cannot afford to turn a blind eye to what they have done that hurt others.
Even if I have no power here, I don't intend on becoming blind.
[HONESTLY, HE IS NOT SURE IF HE LIKES THIS BETTER, OR THINKS IT'S WORSE. Soo-Won is way too young for responsibilities like this, a lot like both Ash and Yut-Lung.
But it's good to hear Soo-Won doesn't intend on sacrificing the bad memories to spare the good ones.]
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[blanca already knows soo-won's a king, and so there's no point in hiding the mechanisms of his mind - is what he'd like to say, but honestly he'd be this forthcoming with anyone who catches him right after the conversation he had]
Oh, and I think I need to eat dinner, too.
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Well, let us start with the easiest one: [NEVERMIND THE FOREST, he's just going to corral Soo-Won into heading toward the Food Place by simply using his bulk.] dinner.
You-- [A pause.] ...Gulfan?
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[or well - rather stay in one place while soo-won walks more into the clearing. he looks to the sky, before raising a hand to his mouth and giving one clean whistle
eventually, a hawk descends from the sky before settling on soo-won's shoulder]
Blanca, this is Gulfan. Gulfan, Blanca.
[the hawk stares at blanca before spreading its wings out
henlo]
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Both brows go up, but he takes half a step back or two. The swoop in of the hawk startles him--he isn't scared, but he's surprised. Deadass, it's a hawk.
He blinks a few times at the hawk, awkwardly smiling. He, uh, raises his hand? in greeting?] Hello, Gulfan. [The surprise turns to intrigue.]
Gulfan is a beautiful bird.
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[but gulfan seems to appreciate it, looking pleased before settling comfortably on soo-won's shoulder. soo-won looks him over as best he can from this vantage point before looking back to blanca]
He was waiting in my room when we all arrived, but I've been letting him do as he pleases outside since.
Did you receive something of yours as well?
[given that yona had shackles,,,, for some reason,,]
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[Please, don't peck him, Mr. Gulfan Hawk, sir.]
Ah, yes. I'm afraid it isn't anything as amazing. The suitcase I had on my journey back to the Caribbean. Unfortunately, it didn't have any of my things inside.
[dana, i'm sorry you know i'm full of shit]
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Oh, I'm sorry to hear about your poor luck.
[he gives no inclination that he does not believe this piece of shit. anyway, he's just going to tilt his head]
Though enough about me, I suppose. What do you plan to do next, given what we know now?
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I will manage, I'm sure. [with his suitcase] I would like to meet the others, I believe, and see what they have to say as well.
I am not entirely sure how to feel about being pulled into something so... fantastical.
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[he feels like he's been given the short-end of the stick - but only kind of. he has no interest in magic for magic's sake, he just feels like he was less prepared than the others here]
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I will say it doesn't have any magic of which I'm aware.
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Any magic in my country is so rare it's more closely tied to mythology. [to say the least] So to suddenly be faced with the concept of memories tied to a force of magic...
It's a bit strange.
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[He glances between Soo-Won and the hawk, and then looks away thoughtfully.]
I don't think we have much of a choice other than believe them... but I'm sure there is still a lot we don't know.
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[his smile is just a little withering
just a little]
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Yes, something like that. If you keep worrying so much, you are going to have gray hair very soon, Your Majesty.
[He's teasing.]
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Oh? Do I look worried to you?
[he is, that much is clear from his level of preparation
but does he look it!]
Don't worry, I don't plan on burning myself out. But it's best to make plans for worst case scenarios regardless.
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I would hate to watch you burn the candle at both ends when we have only just arrived. But it is good to be prepared.
ANNA your SNEEP
[he asks the question mostly as a curiosity point - he doesn't actually think blanca is.
but he offers a smile anyway]
I'll see about putting a few failsafes in place, and then take to dinner. I'd hate to transfer my gray hair to you because you don't trust me to mind my own well-being.
I suppose I am simply a person who would like to know first that I did everything I could - and then be at peace with myself when the storm comes later.
IT'S FINE I SLEPT
I have known one or two people as motivated as you are. I've also seen them wear themselves thin, is all. I don't think it's bad to plan, however.
You have so many memories, Mister Won. How are you going to keep the most important ones when almost all of them are important in some way?
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he didn't expect actual worry - the care manages to pull an actual smile from him, gentle and amused]
I've been thinking on that as well. Does a person need every single one of their memories in order to retain who they are? I don't have an answer. But I don't mind telling you I've only lived for one reason for most of my life.
If I still have that reason, is that all I need to authentically still be me? I'm not sure, but I hope so. Or at least, I hope that I will be enough myself I can look at what I've done when I am whole again, and not feel ashamed.
[the idea of not being wholly in control of himself isn't great - but he supposes he just has to account for what he can, and hope for the best]
What of you, Blanca? When you have nearly twice as many memories as I, purely in terms of time - how do you feel about the possibility of some slipping through your hands?
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He wonders what kind of person Ash and Yut-Lung would be, if neither of them had the worst parts of their memories.]
I would be a very different person than I am now. Your memories make you who you are, even the smallest ones. I don't believe it's fair to have to pick and choose which ones are more important.
Even the smile of a friend you take for granted, losing it would mean you wouldn't understand how important it is.
[1/2]
soo-won's expression stills for a moment and there is a flicker of something saddened in his eyes - ]
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... I'm afraid, with my position, I rarely get to indulge in such things at all anymore.
Even what I hold dear to me... I have to accept losing it, for my people. Thinking on matters as a person, and not as someone who must take care of the subjects...
I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to do much at all, if I couldn't determine things like that.
But you're right. Even if they are not what I consider vital to my integrity... I think those things are important.
[even if those memories have still caused him more pain lately, than anything else]
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He's spent enough time being caught up in political games. And even if he thinks Ash had been right about being tired of playing a role, even if he is also tired of playing a role, he gets it.]
The good memories are what people are afraid to lose, I'm sure. They will cling to them. But even bad memories, Mister Won, have made you who you are right now.
And you can forget bad memories; many people, especially children, cope by forcing themselves to forget bad memories. But you won't ever not have any bad memories. Even with a clean slate, you will continue to make bad memories as you grow. From accidents, from mistakes.
And without bad memories, you won't have any measure for the good ones.
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I do not think I am someone who can afford to forget my bad memories either, Blanca. You needn't worry about me not understanding that distinction.
[most of his memories are bad, despite the disposition he shows. even those that were once good, he turned sour by his own choice. even so, he doesn't intend on shirking responsibility or looking away]
Those in power cannot afford to turn a blind eye to what they have done that hurt others.
Even if I have no power here, I don't intend on becoming blind.
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But it's good to hear Soo-Won doesn't intend on sacrificing the bad memories to spare the good ones.]
I did not mean to imply you are foolish.
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