You look as though you've seen a ghost - come have a seat.
[he'll pat the spot next to him....]
Well, to begin, we were in a corridor with the four of us - though we were quickly separated. Xie Lian and I were brought to a room where we were expected to sit in two chairs, and some words appeared to tell us some enemies were attacking, and asked if we were prepared. Upon selecting yes, we were knocked unconscious.
Though... we were them forced to face a number of - emotional ordeals, I suppose. Based on our own fears and worries. In my case.... I saw my country burning before my eyes, my top general announced dead, and myself too weak and ill to be able to give direction. Ultimately, I knew I was dying.
[just a bit of detail for blanca, given what he knows about soo-won]
Our consciousness and decisions were connected to the monsters that Ochako and Chiron were fighting - when they were victorious, I believe Xie Lian and I were defeated. They tried to revive us with serums, but we ended up becoming murderous instead. They had to kill us in order to stop us.
[he rests a hand over his own heart]
This injury came from Ochako, though it's partially healed, so my life is not in danger.
[and
he could get away with making it look like he wasn't hurt that much at all
[ . . . . and he looks at blanca at that, expression softening - ]
You are awfully kind - I'm glad that I have more time still to convince you of that much.
[a beat]
... I feel as though many are asking me that but -
I'm alright. I spend more time considering my end than most, I think, and so... I am a little surprised to receive a chance to live, though I'm grateful for it.
I understand all that needed to happen, so I don't hold any grudges or anything of the sort.
[so blanca doesn't need to worry about soo-won being actually angry at anyone over what happened]
[this child has been 60 years since he was born - but he'll at least adjust his cloak so as to hide his injury again! wow, he once again looks pristine. terrible.]
No, I'm rather used to expecting the kindness of others - people really are wonderful, aren't they? It makes me glad to have more time with you all.
But we did -
Could you give me your report of your ordeal first?
[I completely forgot to make Blanca move over to sit with Soo-Won when asked, so anyway, let's pretend he did that now! HIS MANNERS.]
My. Impatient.
[He's teasing again.
But his expression thins some.]
I don't know what happened to Sora and Miss Alex yet. We too were separated at the beginning. Mister Fujimoto and I were in an old house... a manor almost. The... ghost of a child lead us along through different rooms to try to find notes with a combination on them.
A chandelier fell on us. In the bedroom, we saw... Well, I saw Natalia. The bathroom had a rat which attacked us. [Alpha Rat.] One door was trapped with a blade that swung down when I entered.
We found Sora and Miss Alex inside... vats--giant tubes of liquid which we had to drain. Mister Fujimoto was shocked when he tried to break them beforehand. So I picked up the iron poker he dropped to break the glass on the tubes.
[soo-won will take the teasing, listening to the report thoughtfully.]
.... I see. That still sounds like a difficult ordeal in and of itself. So that's how you ended up injured.
[just random attacks in a haunted house. it still sounds rather terrible - and he doesn't know exactly who natalia is, but he thinks he can make a guess now]
[He opens his mouth, and then closes it. There's a pause before he laughs quietly and wryly.]
Tired, if I'm honest. A little sore. [But he doesn't seem to be too bad off considering.] I was on my way to speak to you actually before it happened. I suppose it was better this way; I would have been concerned if I couldn't find you.
Fox claims they do not care about winning, and they don't like the killing going on.
I tried to get them to talk about it without asking the questions outright, to see how they would answer. When I talked about being removed being unfavorable, they agreed that "death" wasn't so great.
[He shakes his head.]
I asked them if anyone had lost any memories of this place, and they said no one had talked to them about memories, so they don't know. I also asked whose camaraderie they valued.
They said, "Wolf is fun to tease," and Rabbit and they were similar.
I would say that having a lack of emotional response is maybe more worrying than having one. [As gently as he can say this.] If I may say, sir, there is no harm is being pragmatic. In continuing forward so you aren't left wallowing in things that have happened, things no one can change.
But it's very natural and reasonable to find things traumatic, or sad, or scary, and show it, even to others, before moving on. That's very human.
["soo-won might not even be human" i do not see it
[he knows exactly what blanca means. he's seen how people have reacted when facing their own death, consoled them, reassured them. he's seen it in other people - but he is so rarely afforded this luxury.]
I do not move forward because I believe in hiding my feelings - but... I'd said it before. The notion of my life ending is not new to me. Perhaps... I am frustrated with the way it was imposed on me, at least the first time. They sapped my strength suddenly, without my permission, and I could not hope to fight it if I tried.
But... I am a king, Blanca. Just as you have done things in your past that make you feel as though happiness is not deserving of being in your grasp now -
I have led people into war. And while I do all I can to minimize casualties [and he often succeeds, winning battles without so much as a single death, the little shit] it changes not that I make choices that are difficult. I have a reason each time. Rescuing people from kidnapping, strengthening our borders against invasion, the other duties belonging to a leader.
But I know I will die from the choices that I have made, and I will deserve it.
Make no mistake that I wish to live -
Yet when faced with my own death, and the second time with circumstances that I could understand, I am only.... unsurprised.
[Well, this is much more than he was expecting to get out of Soo-Won, but he's glad. It doesn't have to be a floodgate. He isn't necessarily wanting a torrential downpour of trauma.
It really does remind him a lot of Ash.]
That's better.
[To remind Soo-Won even this is enough. It's enough to just say it hurts a little, or it's disappointing, or it's sad.]
I think you're doing the best you can with the cards you are being dealt, and that's more I can say for a lot of people.
Whether or not you deserve the death you get, I can't say. I'm only a man with dirty hands. But the fact you can recognize and acknowledge what you do and what's happening. Well, it's enough, Mister Won.
You're a king, but even kings don't have the power to not struggle, or feel. And that's okay.
[despite giving a fake alias out, it seems that once you know his name and title, he prefers to just be referred to as his given name. please stop running around in circles.]
... well, kings are human too, I know that. I'm very proud to be human - even moreso now that I'm here, don't tell anyone. [little shit]
However... I still can't truly afford to crumble or stumble - I don't have the luxury. Even if I'm mainly a merchant here to others, it's not as though I don't feel eyes on me. I don't mind opening up... but it's only to varying degrees.
[he knows that people look to him for guidance, one way or another. causing too much stress because he's unwell simply wouldn't be a good strategy.
but he gently lets his shoulder rest against blanca's]
[You can't win every battle, Soo-won, even though you may try.]
You know, you don't have to tell everyone about yourself so much as feel it's fine to show them a little vulnerability. But I understand. It's not easy being vulnerable as a king. And it may not be easy to be vulnerable here.
[He supports the lean without infringing on Soo-won's space with an arm, or a touch.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[he'll pat the spot next to him....]
Well, to begin, we were in a corridor with the four of us - though we were quickly separated. Xie Lian and I were brought to a room where we were expected to sit in two chairs, and some words appeared to tell us some enemies were attacking, and asked if we were prepared. Upon selecting yes, we were knocked unconscious.
Though... we were them forced to face a number of - emotional ordeals, I suppose. Based on our own fears and worries. In my case.... I saw my country burning before my eyes, my top general announced dead, and myself too weak and ill to be able to give direction. Ultimately, I knew I was dying.
[just a bit of detail for blanca, given what he knows about soo-won]
Our consciousness and decisions were connected to the monsters that Ochako and Chiron were fighting - when they were victorious, I believe Xie Lian and I were defeated. They tried to revive us with serums, but we ended up becoming murderous instead. They had to kill us in order to stop us.
[he rests a hand over his own heart]
This injury came from Ochako, though it's partially healed, so my life is not in danger.
[and
he could get away with making it look like he wasn't hurt that much at all
but yeah.
he died twice.]
no subject
[THIS IS SO MUCH? He thought his was so much, but it was not as much compared to this.]
I'm sorry. [For dying, but more than that, for having to go through something pretty traumatic?] Are you all right?
[MENTALLY.]
no subject
You are awfully kind - I'm glad that I have more time still to convince you of that much.
[a beat]
... I feel as though many are asking me that but -
I'm alright. I spend more time considering my end than most, I think, and so... I am a little surprised to receive a chance to live, though I'm grateful for it.
I understand all that needed to happen, so I don't hold any grudges or anything of the sort.
[so blanca doesn't need to worry about soo-won being actually angry at anyone over what happened]
no subject
[PLEASE STOP SAYING FUCKING TERRIBLE SAD AND CRYPTID SHIT. This fucking child is not fine AT ALL, Blanca can SMELL IT.]
Did the four of you retrieve things you were able to bring back with you...?
no subject
No, I'm rather used to expecting the kindness of others - people really are wonderful, aren't they? It makes me glad to have more time with you all.
But we did -
Could you give me your report of your ordeal first?
no subject
My. Impatient.
[He's teasing again.
But his expression thins some.]
I don't know what happened to Sora and Miss Alex yet. We too were separated at the beginning. Mister Fujimoto and I were in an old house... a manor almost. The... ghost of a child lead us along through different rooms to try to find notes with a combination on them.
A chandelier fell on us. In the bedroom, we saw... Well, I saw Natalia. The bathroom had a rat which attacked us. [Alpha Rat.] One door was trapped with a blade that swung down when I entered.
We found Sora and Miss Alex inside... vats--giant tubes of liquid which we had to drain. Mister Fujimoto was shocked when he tried to break them beforehand. So I picked up the iron poker he dropped to break the glass on the tubes.
And then everything was on fire...
no subject
.... I see. That still sounds like a difficult ordeal in and of itself. So that's how you ended up injured.
[just random attacks in a haunted house. it still sounds rather terrible - and he doesn't know exactly who natalia is, but he thinks he can make a guess now]
How are you feeling now?
no subject
Tired, if I'm honest. A little sore. [But he doesn't seem to be too bad off considering.] I was on my way to speak to you actually before it happened. I suppose it was better this way; I would have been concerned if I couldn't find you.
I spoke to Fox.
no subject
[soo-won you dIED TWICE TODAY. but he'll rest a hand on blanca's shoulder]
Rest here then - do you want tea? I can get some before you tell me what Fox said.
no subject
No--no, that's all right. I'm fine for now. Thank you for the offer, though, Mister Won.
no subject
Then - what did Fox say...?
no subject
I tried to get them to talk about it without asking the questions outright, to see how they would answer. When I talked about being removed being unfavorable, they agreed that "death" wasn't so great.
[He shakes his head.]
I asked them if anyone had lost any memories of this place, and they said no one had talked to them about memories, so they don't know. I also asked whose camaraderie they valued.
They said, "Wolf is fun to tease," and Rabbit and they were similar.
no subject
[he hums thoughtfully at that]
Well, we can continue to collect possible teams and perspectives. I'd like to talk more with Fox myself - they seem rather fun.
But Wolf is very fun to tease, that's true.
no subject
[It does not AT ALL sound like he is scolding Soo-Won about this. In fact, he is trying not to smile.]
...Are you sure you're all right, Soo-Won?
no subject
... does my apparent lack of emotional turmoil bother you?
[he knows that he seemed to jump right into business, that he skipped over any emotional angst that he's supposed to have after
dying twice]
no subject
[He isn't going to lie about that.]
I would say that having a lack of emotional response is maybe more worrying than having one. [As gently as he can say this.] If I may say, sir, there is no harm is being pragmatic. In continuing forward so you aren't left wallowing in things that have happened, things no one can change.
But it's very natural and reasonable to find things traumatic, or sad, or scary, and show it, even to others, before moving on. That's very human.
["soo-won might not even be human" i do not see it
also i feel like i'm talking to myself hate that]
no subject
[he knows exactly what blanca means. he's seen how people have reacted when facing their own death, consoled them, reassured them. he's seen it in other people - but he is so rarely afforded this luxury.]
I do not move forward because I believe in hiding my feelings - but... I'd said it before. The notion of my life ending is not new to me. Perhaps... I am frustrated with the way it was imposed on me, at least the first time. They sapped my strength suddenly, without my permission, and I could not hope to fight it if I tried.
But... I am a king, Blanca. Just as you have done things in your past that make you feel as though happiness is not deserving of being in your grasp now -
I have led people into war. And while I do all I can to minimize casualties [and he often succeeds, winning battles without so much as a single death, the little shit] it changes not that I make choices that are difficult. I have a reason each time. Rescuing people from kidnapping, strengthening our borders against invasion, the other duties belonging to a leader.
But I know I will die from the choices that I have made, and I will deserve it.
Make no mistake that I wish to live -
Yet when faced with my own death, and the second time with circumstances that I could understand, I am only.... unsurprised.
[perhaps he's saddened - but he is used to it.]
no subject
It really does remind him a lot of Ash.]
That's better.
[To remind Soo-Won even this is enough. It's enough to just say it hurts a little, or it's disappointing, or it's sad.]
I think you're doing the best you can with the cards you are being dealt, and that's more I can say for a lot of people.
Whether or not you deserve the death you get, I can't say. I'm only a man with dirty hands. But the fact you can recognize and acknowledge what you do and what's happening. Well, it's enough, Mister Won.
You're a king, but even kings don't have the power to not struggle, or feel. And that's okay.
no subject
I liked it better when you called me Soo-won...
[despite giving a fake alias out, it seems that once you know his name and title, he prefers to just be referred to as his given name. please stop running around in circles.]
... well, kings are human too, I know that. I'm very proud to be human - even moreso now that I'm here, don't tell anyone. [little shit]
However... I still can't truly afford to crumble or stumble - I don't have the luxury. Even if I'm mainly a merchant here to others, it's not as though I don't feel eyes on me. I don't mind opening up... but it's only to varying degrees.
[he knows that people look to him for guidance, one way or another. causing too much stress because he's unwell simply wouldn't be a good strategy.
but he gently lets his shoulder rest against blanca's]
But thank you for giving me the opportunity.
no subject
You're welcome, Soo-won, sir.
[You can't win every battle, Soo-won, even though you may try.]
You know, you don't have to tell everyone about yourself so much as feel it's fine to show them a little vulnerability. But I understand. It's not easy being vulnerable as a king. And it may not be easy to be vulnerable here.
[He supports the lean without infringing on Soo-won's space with an arm, or a touch.]
You remind me of someone from back home.
no subject
will actually take that much, seeming to perk up a bit when addressed by name -
but at least he won't pull away either, leaving just the slightest bit of weight on blanca, letting the other support him]
Is that so? Are you going to tell me that it's someone exhausting?
[look, he knows that he tends to drive his bodyguards crazy]