I would say that having a lack of emotional response is maybe more worrying than having one. [As gently as he can say this.] If I may say, sir, there is no harm is being pragmatic. In continuing forward so you aren't left wallowing in things that have happened, things no one can change.
But it's very natural and reasonable to find things traumatic, or sad, or scary, and show it, even to others, before moving on. That's very human.
["soo-won might not even be human" i do not see it
[he knows exactly what blanca means. he's seen how people have reacted when facing their own death, consoled them, reassured them. he's seen it in other people - but he is so rarely afforded this luxury.]
I do not move forward because I believe in hiding my feelings - but... I'd said it before. The notion of my life ending is not new to me. Perhaps... I am frustrated with the way it was imposed on me, at least the first time. They sapped my strength suddenly, without my permission, and I could not hope to fight it if I tried.
But... I am a king, Blanca. Just as you have done things in your past that make you feel as though happiness is not deserving of being in your grasp now -
I have led people into war. And while I do all I can to minimize casualties [and he often succeeds, winning battles without so much as a single death, the little shit] it changes not that I make choices that are difficult. I have a reason each time. Rescuing people from kidnapping, strengthening our borders against invasion, the other duties belonging to a leader.
But I know I will die from the choices that I have made, and I will deserve it.
Make no mistake that I wish to live -
Yet when faced with my own death, and the second time with circumstances that I could understand, I am only.... unsurprised.
[Well, this is much more than he was expecting to get out of Soo-Won, but he's glad. It doesn't have to be a floodgate. He isn't necessarily wanting a torrential downpour of trauma.
It really does remind him a lot of Ash.]
That's better.
[To remind Soo-Won even this is enough. It's enough to just say it hurts a little, or it's disappointing, or it's sad.]
I think you're doing the best you can with the cards you are being dealt, and that's more I can say for a lot of people.
Whether or not you deserve the death you get, I can't say. I'm only a man with dirty hands. But the fact you can recognize and acknowledge what you do and what's happening. Well, it's enough, Mister Won.
You're a king, but even kings don't have the power to not struggle, or feel. And that's okay.
[despite giving a fake alias out, it seems that once you know his name and title, he prefers to just be referred to as his given name. please stop running around in circles.]
... well, kings are human too, I know that. I'm very proud to be human - even moreso now that I'm here, don't tell anyone. [little shit]
However... I still can't truly afford to crumble or stumble - I don't have the luxury. Even if I'm mainly a merchant here to others, it's not as though I don't feel eyes on me. I don't mind opening up... but it's only to varying degrees.
[he knows that people look to him for guidance, one way or another. causing too much stress because he's unwell simply wouldn't be a good strategy.
but he gently lets his shoulder rest against blanca's]
[You can't win every battle, Soo-won, even though you may try.]
You know, you don't have to tell everyone about yourself so much as feel it's fine to show them a little vulnerability. But I understand. It's not easy being vulnerable as a king. And it may not be easy to be vulnerable here.
[He supports the lean without infringing on Soo-won's space with an arm, or a touch.]
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[It does not AT ALL sound like he is scolding Soo-Won about this. In fact, he is trying not to smile.]
...Are you sure you're all right, Soo-Won?
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... does my apparent lack of emotional turmoil bother you?
[he knows that he seemed to jump right into business, that he skipped over any emotional angst that he's supposed to have after
dying twice]
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[He isn't going to lie about that.]
I would say that having a lack of emotional response is maybe more worrying than having one. [As gently as he can say this.] If I may say, sir, there is no harm is being pragmatic. In continuing forward so you aren't left wallowing in things that have happened, things no one can change.
But it's very natural and reasonable to find things traumatic, or sad, or scary, and show it, even to others, before moving on. That's very human.
["soo-won might not even be human" i do not see it
also i feel like i'm talking to myself hate that]
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[he knows exactly what blanca means. he's seen how people have reacted when facing their own death, consoled them, reassured them. he's seen it in other people - but he is so rarely afforded this luxury.]
I do not move forward because I believe in hiding my feelings - but... I'd said it before. The notion of my life ending is not new to me. Perhaps... I am frustrated with the way it was imposed on me, at least the first time. They sapped my strength suddenly, without my permission, and I could not hope to fight it if I tried.
But... I am a king, Blanca. Just as you have done things in your past that make you feel as though happiness is not deserving of being in your grasp now -
I have led people into war. And while I do all I can to minimize casualties [and he often succeeds, winning battles without so much as a single death, the little shit] it changes not that I make choices that are difficult. I have a reason each time. Rescuing people from kidnapping, strengthening our borders against invasion, the other duties belonging to a leader.
But I know I will die from the choices that I have made, and I will deserve it.
Make no mistake that I wish to live -
Yet when faced with my own death, and the second time with circumstances that I could understand, I am only.... unsurprised.
[perhaps he's saddened - but he is used to it.]
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It really does remind him a lot of Ash.]
That's better.
[To remind Soo-Won even this is enough. It's enough to just say it hurts a little, or it's disappointing, or it's sad.]
I think you're doing the best you can with the cards you are being dealt, and that's more I can say for a lot of people.
Whether or not you deserve the death you get, I can't say. I'm only a man with dirty hands. But the fact you can recognize and acknowledge what you do and what's happening. Well, it's enough, Mister Won.
You're a king, but even kings don't have the power to not struggle, or feel. And that's okay.
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I liked it better when you called me Soo-won...
[despite giving a fake alias out, it seems that once you know his name and title, he prefers to just be referred to as his given name. please stop running around in circles.]
... well, kings are human too, I know that. I'm very proud to be human - even moreso now that I'm here, don't tell anyone. [little shit]
However... I still can't truly afford to crumble or stumble - I don't have the luxury. Even if I'm mainly a merchant here to others, it's not as though I don't feel eyes on me. I don't mind opening up... but it's only to varying degrees.
[he knows that people look to him for guidance, one way or another. causing too much stress because he's unwell simply wouldn't be a good strategy.
but he gently lets his shoulder rest against blanca's]
But thank you for giving me the opportunity.
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You're welcome, Soo-won, sir.
[You can't win every battle, Soo-won, even though you may try.]
You know, you don't have to tell everyone about yourself so much as feel it's fine to show them a little vulnerability. But I understand. It's not easy being vulnerable as a king. And it may not be easy to be vulnerable here.
[He supports the lean without infringing on Soo-won's space with an arm, or a touch.]
You remind me of someone from back home.
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will actually take that much, seeming to perk up a bit when addressed by name -
but at least he won't pull away either, leaving just the slightest bit of weight on blanca, letting the other support him]
Is that so? Are you going to tell me that it's someone exhausting?
[look, he knows that he tends to drive his bodyguards crazy]