[Well, he's quick to come in after the initial :| at the door. He tries to make sure Soo-won doesn't fall into the floor, but instead gets mostly on the bed.
Glancing back, he moves over to dig the painkillers out of the kigu, returning with them. Idk if it's a bottle or what, but he'll open it for Soo-won.
He kneels on the bed and puts one to Soo-won's lips. The antis.]
but it's yeah, it's in a bottle. It's the usual type of pill painkillers, but he'll take it easily, swallowing it even without water because at some point you just get desperate for relief.
But he's feverish, weak, and tired. Pale, sweating, and apparently in a lot of pain as his hand comes up to clutch at his head.]
[you can unfortunately take his wrist rather easily - he doesn't even have the strength to protest in the middle of an attack.]
... Hansa... can tell you.
[if he wants an immediate answer, but it seems that for right now, soo-won's a little bit more delirious than he'd like to admit. the words escape him in the moments before the painkillers kick in.]
[Hmm. Soo-won, you little king fuck. He lets go of the wrist, and then straightens up a bit so he can try to maneuver Soo-won bodily around to lie on the bed and BEHAVE.]
Lie back and don't move around. How long does it usually last?
[sure, he'll behave! it's not like he can really go against blanca maneuvering him then - though blanca will feel the way that he's slightly trembling. it's a long call from the normal regal feature that he strikes.
but he'll move to place one hand over his eyes, if only to hide how they wrinkle in pain.]
... brief...
[but incredibly painful.
though at least after a few minutes, the painkillers will at least keep him from being completely impossible. still, he finds himself speaking - ]
[the pain will be brief, and she will come back. in his head and heart, he knows both of those things to be true. it's what he would say to any other person, at any other time, because he knows they have to be logical and smart about this. personal emotions don't get to play a part in necessity. he's known than since he was small.
and yet when blanca pulls soo-won's hand down, there may be the slightest formation of tears at the corners of his eyes. from the pain? sure, probably.
and because emotions can't play a part in what needs to be done:]
[at the very least he seems rather resolute when he says:]
I won't be lost. I cannot die yet.
[though as tired as he looks, it's probably a little harder to believe. still, there's steel in his voice when he says it. as for blanca's question....
he nods, tiredly.]
She knows.... we'll reveal her - but she won't expect to be saved. Then we'll know... which teams acted, and how to get the information, but no one will be harmed come Sunday.
Hansa.... Archer... might be upset. But as long as she gets the majority... and there is no tie...
[then it'll be alright. as long as everything goes according to plan.]
Don't worry about Hansa and Archer, I have them... without giving any of it away.
[He tries for a reassuring smile, but looks mostly tired.]
Xie Lian asked me to help him, and I agreed. I usually tell Hansa and Archer what I see at night, so I plan to tell them Jeanne was gone from where she should be. I might tell Zuko, too, since he had been curious, and I didn't tell him anything last week about what my "source" said.
Just to have more people looking at her for voting.
[though it seems like he can't say more than that.]
... Jeanne will make it obvious but.... there will be many pieces, and many confusing parts, and distractions. [he sounds so very certain] Others might jump to other answers, and if I am under suspicion, they may not take my word...
But as long as at the very end, the votes go to Jeanne, but without her realizing...
[even if that seems to cause soo-won a different pang of pain]
[ . . . he almost wants to say don't bother - but he can't. not when the fact of the matter is that soo-won always wants to live. it's the most selfish wish that he has, perhaps. if someone is willing to cover for him... very well.
he won't stop them.
it's just being pragmatic.
he doesn't flinch away from the kiss, though he turns his head away at the mention of yona again. his breathing has evened out, returned to normal - but he remains a bit pale, a bit exhausted.]
.... she'll come back.
[he knows that much but.
he's not sure if he can agree that she'll be alright.]
.... it's fine. She was never truly mine to lose. If she'll accept this from anyone - it would be me.
[He lifts his hand to brush some of Soo-won's hair back; the edges of his fingers skim the corner of Soo-won's eye, but doesn't act like it's trying to get rid of tears exactly.]
I'm afraid I don't have much advice to give you, Soo-won. It would only be advice from a murderer, and I'm not sure a murderer like me has the right to try to pretend like they understand.
... why do you always talk about yourself in such a way?
[why is it always about being a murderer? soo-won doesn't flinch away from the touch - is likely too tired to do so - but there's something saddened creeping into his voice again.
not for himself, because he has no right to feel sadness for himself, but for blanca.]
We are both murderers.
You need not give me advice... but you also needn't be so cruel to yourself.
[He almost feels more bad for Soo-won finding this sad. He shakes his head.]
I talk that way so I don't forget what I've done. It doesn't bother me like you may think. I don't mind allowing myself to live life as others live theirs. Smiling, laughing, loving. There's no point in keeping myself from those things.
There's no life in it.
But I won't forget how dirty my hands are, even if it was something I had been coerced to become as someone even younger than Ash.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
soo-won would be impressed if he wasn't nearly collapsing onto the bed. he points in the direction of his belongings - ]
Medicine... please...
[and blanca will honestly find a neat little stash of painkillers tucked away, wrapped in a kigurumi blanket]
no subject
Glancing back, he moves over to dig the painkillers out of the kigu, returning with them. Idk if it's a bottle or what, but he'll open it for Soo-won.
He kneels on the bed and puts one to Soo-won's lips. The antis.]
Here.
no subject
but it's yeah, it's in a bottle. It's the usual type of pill painkillers, but he'll take it easily, swallowing it even without water because at some point you just get desperate for relief.
But he's feverish, weak, and tired. Pale, sweating, and apparently in a lot of pain as his hand comes up to clutch at his head.]
Thank you - it'll.... pass.
no subject
Enough. [Hiding, he means.] Soo-won, tell me what's wrong.
Why does this happen?
no subject
... Hansa... can tell you.
[if he wants an immediate answer, but it seems that for right now, soo-won's a little bit more delirious than he'd like to admit. the words escape him in the moments before the painkillers kick in.]
It's - ... a curse. From before... I came here.
no subject
Lie back and don't move around. How long does it usually last?
no subject
but he'll move to place one hand over his eyes, if only to hide how they wrinkle in pain.]
... brief...
[but incredibly painful.
though at least after a few minutes, the painkillers will at least keep him from being completely impossible. still, he finds himself speaking - ]
Yona's.... splintering.... tomorrow. Why can I -
Never protect her...?
no subject
His frown is less severe and more softened by sympathy.]
I'm sorry, Soo-won. But we are all working to make sure it's brief. That they come back.
[He reaches up to try to bring Soo-won's hand down.]
Do you know who plans to remove her?
no subject
and yet when blanca pulls soo-won's hand down, there may be the slightest formation of tears at the corners of his eyes. from the pain? sure, probably.
and because emotions can't play a part in what needs to be done:]
I will.
no subject
He holds Soo-won's hand in his own, offering it a small squeeze.]
You didn't tell Xie Lian, did you...? Do you know where you plan to do it...? Or how...?
[He is quiet for a long moment, but it's clear he plans to say something else.]
...I need to know so I can overlook it when I'm out.
no subject
[though it seems like - even weakly, the corner of his mouth twitches up in amusement.]
.... enough of you worry too much over me.... I can handle this much, you know? I'm the only Goat left who can.
[ . . . ]
Xie Lian can't - die on Thursday.... We need him. I cannot prize one person over all others...
[he is not someone who can put love first - he is not someone selfish enough for that.]
If you're out then... Tigers and Rabbits will be out too but... we already have a plan... come Saturday... So just - trust us....
no subject
[His brows furrow.]
Tiger, though, can stand to lose a few. [It doesn't look like he enjoys saying that, however?] Are you talking about the plan with Miss Jeanne?
no subject
I won't be lost. I cannot die yet.
[though as tired as he looks, it's probably a little harder to believe. still, there's steel in his voice when he says it. as for blanca's question....
he nods, tiredly.]
She knows.... we'll reveal her - but she won't expect to be saved. Then we'll know... which teams acted, and how to get the information, but no one will be harmed come Sunday.
Hansa.... Archer... might be upset. But as long as she gets the majority... and there is no tie...
[then it'll be alright. as long as everything goes according to plan.]
no subject
[He tries for a reassuring smile, but looks mostly tired.]
Xie Lian asked me to help him, and I agreed. I usually tell Hansa and Archer what I see at night, so I plan to tell them Jeanne was gone from where she should be. I might tell Zuko, too, since he had been curious, and I didn't tell him anything last week about what my "source" said.
Just to have more people looking at her for voting.
no subject
.... don't worry about Zuko. You'll see.
[though it seems like he can't say more than that.]
... Jeanne will make it obvious but.... there will be many pieces, and many confusing parts, and distractions. [he sounds so very certain] Others might jump to other answers, and if I am under suspicion, they may not take my word...
But as long as at the very end, the votes go to Jeanne, but without her realizing...
[even if that seems to cause soo-won a different pang of pain]
Sunday will be bloodless.
no subject
[Hm. He doesn't question it because it feels like Soo-won would have said more if there was a need. He is but a simple bodyguard.]
I can tell Hansa and Archer I saw you asleep, even though I don't plan to check where we stay. It should add more to helping us look away from you.
[He gives the back of Soo-won's fingers a respectful kiss, and then lays the arm over Soo-won's stomach and chest.]
I know this means very little, but don't worry about Miss Yona. She'll be all right.
no subject
he won't stop them.
it's just being pragmatic.
he doesn't flinch away from the kiss, though he turns his head away at the mention of yona again. his breathing has evened out, returned to normal - but he remains a bit pale, a bit exhausted.]
.... she'll come back.
[he knows that much but.
he's not sure if he can agree that she'll be alright.]
.... it's fine. She was never truly mine to lose. If she'll accept this from anyone - it would be me.
no subject
[He lifts his hand to brush some of Soo-won's hair back; the edges of his fingers skim the corner of Soo-won's eye, but doesn't act like it's trying to get rid of tears exactly.]
I'm afraid I don't have much advice to give you, Soo-won. It would only be advice from a murderer, and I'm not sure a murderer like me has the right to try to pretend like they understand.
no subject
[why is it always about being a murderer? soo-won doesn't flinch away from the touch - is likely too tired to do so - but there's something saddened creeping into his voice again.
not for himself, because he has no right to feel sadness for himself, but for blanca.]
We are both murderers.
You need not give me advice... but you also needn't be so cruel to yourself.
no subject
I talk that way so I don't forget what I've done. It doesn't bother me like you may think. I don't mind allowing myself to live life as others live theirs. Smiling, laughing, loving. There's no point in keeping myself from those things.
There's no life in it.
But I won't forget how dirty my hands are, even if it was something I had been coerced to become as someone even younger than Ash.