Mm, she has. Taako and I helped her with it. Ruby, Ru for short.
[continues to stare......]
.... she mentioned to me what you lost and regained.
[and also that he broke up with her but i'm going to be really honest with you soo-won actually doesn't care that much about that because people's romantic matters are beyond him]
[He considers this with some hesitation, and then quietly sighs.]
I call her Blanca. [He glances away idly with his brows furrowed.] That is the nickname I gave her because she was from a place called Belarus, and it's considered "White Russia."
I'm not sure why I would have gone by this if... [He thinks about Lup's question.] ...we are married and happy.
I don't know why I would be in New York, returning to the Caribbean either. Or why... I would have had the job I did. [A pause.] Being an assassin.
soo-won blinks at that and - his posture tenses. the only indicator that he perhaps has an answer to blanca's question. if only because he listens to the tenses.
'I call her Blanca' as if she is still with him, as opposed to a few weeks ago - 'She was beautiful, intelligent, and full of conviction.'
he pours their tea.]
.... do you want the answer, if it will only be uncomfortable, and you may not be able to keep it with you even after I explain it? This place might not let the information remain.
[he offers a cup out]
.... what I can say with certainty is you love her very much, and her you. [even if he'll. purposefully leave out tenses.]
[Honestly, he does not like that response because it just reinforces what he's already worried about to begin with. When Lup had asked him, "Did something happen to her?"
It really puts the ice-cold grip of fear in his heart.]
...I want to hear it even if I don't like it, and even if it doesn't stay.
[He loves her very much, and she loves him. He knows this.]
[ . . . well, then who is soo-won to deny him? he thinks that he would want to know this too, if he were in a similar position. so he'll pause for a bit before reaching a hand out, letting it rest over the back of blanca's, if only to help ground him.
he pauses for a moment before explaining:]
... in weeks prior to this, you spoke about her in past-tense. Not necessarily your feelings for her, or how much you adore her - but.... her.
[which implies that her life is past tense.]
I don't know the details, I'm afraid and perhaps it's for the best that I don't -
But I was under the impression that she is no longer in your life, at your side.
[It's there, for that little instance. He realizes it, what Soo-won means. She's... dead. N... Blanca is dead. A sickening, cold drop starts at his throat and ends in his stomach.
She's dead.
And then it's gone, almost as quickly as he's realized it. And he says,] No, [softly, but firmly, though maybe not like he completely believes it.
Too much doesn't add up. It doesn't fit together.]
so that's what it looks like. to receive information for the briefest second and the way that it's gone in an instant. soo-won watches blanca, observes the way in which he processes the information so brutally, before closing his eyes for a moment.
almost in anger, for what this place can do to a person.
and then he opens his eyes again, frowning.]
.... I apologize for the discomfort.
[even though blanca asked for it - soo-won also knows there's nothing he can do to make this situation better]
[His brows crease, and he offers Soo-won a dismissive shake of his head.]
It's--all right. You don't have to worry over it. If we continue finding out how to stop what's happening, whatever has been... taken from me, will hopefully be returned.
That's as much as any of us can do, I think.
[He glances up.]
I hope... Miss Lup is not... hurt too badly. I did not intend to... Well, I wouldn't have involved her in something so terrible to begin with, which is why... it's strange.
.... I will worry over it - because you remain to be my friend. I'll help you in what needs to be accomplished, and hope you reach certain levels of nova collection so that your discomfort is removed.
[but his words are plain just as much as they are certain - this might be blanca's problem, because tied together as they are, soo-won thinks it's his problem too.
it's just what happens when you care about people.]
.... in truth, I don't understand the feelings that come with what happened between you two very clearly - but I will look after her as well.
She won't be alone - so I hope that you two can maintain whatever relationship you need in order to look after your own happiness and peace of mind.
[The way Soo-won talks about it, Blanca can tell. It's not hard for Soo-won to be empathetic, and to hurt when other's hurt, but it seems like Soo-won has a hard time understanding where some of the hurt comes from at times.
Well, in this case, with... romantic feelings at least.]
I think we'll be okay, Soo-won. Thank you. [He looks a bit amused.] Have you ever been in love?
No.... I haven't. I don't think that the sentiments have ever truly reached me.
[and he says this with a remarkable amount of certainty - but could someone who focuses so much on the benefit of all people truly let himself examine feelings like that if they ever did reach him?
I don't think you have to know that kind of love to also love people. As terrible as it is to say, sometimes being in love can distract you from how much you should love other people.
Whether it's being in love with yourself, or someone else.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
you're so fucking funny
He raises his brows. He doesn't think it's about him, so now he's a bit concerned for Soo-won. Did he get a girlfriend? A boyfriend?]
Is something wrong?
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I spoke with Lup yesterday....
[he
stares at blanca
he assumes he can guess from here]
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Ah... Did she not respond to her name? I think she decided to go by Ruby for now.
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[continues to stare......]
.... she mentioned to me what you lost and regained.
[and also that he broke up with her but i'm going to be really honest with you soo-won actually doesn't care that much about that because people's romantic matters are beyond him]
I wanted to see how you're feeling.
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I'm... all right. I simply feel... a bit conflicted, I suppose.
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Shall we get some tea and talk about it? I can taste again, after all.
[though even as he heads to the kitchen....]
What makes you feel conflicted?
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Waking up and remembering I'm married. But knowing I'm not the type of man to be disloyal. Not about something like that.
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... does it help at all? To be told that it wasn't your fault.
[admittedly soo-won also comes from a time where it's super common to have more than one wife but like
he'll
pick up context clues from here....]
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Not especially, but thank you for the sentiment.
[It's hard being a charming man out here with ladies and then somehow suddenly realizing you have a wife back home??]
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[to try to assuage the guilt even a little. but still, he'll just continue on to work on making their tea.]
At the very least, I remember clearly how much you love your wife.
I only wish that matters of the heart were simpler than that.
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Some things... don't seem to add up, is what is confusing.
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.... I'm listening, if you're willing to trust me with it.
I don't know all your life... but you did tell me a few things...
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I call her Blanca. [He glances away idly with his brows furrowed.] That is the nickname I gave her because she was from a place called Belarus, and it's considered "White Russia."
I'm not sure why I would have gone by this if... [He thinks about Lup's question.] ...we are married and happy.
I don't know why I would be in New York, returning to the Caribbean either. Or why... I would have had the job I did. [A pause.] Being an assassin.
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soo-won blinks at that and - his posture tenses. the only indicator that he perhaps has an answer to blanca's question. if only because he listens to the tenses.
'I call her Blanca' as if she is still with him, as opposed to a few weeks ago - 'She was beautiful, intelligent, and full of conviction.'
he pours their tea.]
.... do you want the answer, if it will only be uncomfortable, and you may not be able to keep it with you even after I explain it? This place might not let the information remain.
[he offers a cup out]
.... what I can say with certainty is you love her very much, and her you. [even if he'll. purposefully leave out tenses.]
no subject
It really puts the ice-cold grip of fear in his heart.]
...I want to hear it even if I don't like it, and even if it doesn't stay.
[He loves her very much, and she loves him. He knows this.]
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he pauses for a moment before explaining:]
... in weeks prior to this, you spoke about her in past-tense. Not necessarily your feelings for her, or how much you adore her - but.... her.
[which implies that her life is past tense.]
I don't know the details, I'm afraid and perhaps it's for the best that I don't -
But I was under the impression that she is no longer in your life, at your side.
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[It's there, for that little instance. He realizes it, what Soo-won means. She's... dead. N... Blanca is dead. A sickening, cold drop starts at his throat and ends in his stomach.
She's dead.
And then it's gone, almost as quickly as he's realized it. And he says,] No, [softly, but firmly, though maybe not like he completely believes it.
Too much doesn't add up. It doesn't fit together.]
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so that's what it looks like. to receive information for the briefest second and the way that it's gone in an instant. soo-won watches blanca, observes the way in which he processes the information so brutally, before closing his eyes for a moment.
almost in anger, for what this place can do to a person.
and then he opens his eyes again, frowning.]
.... I apologize for the discomfort.
[even though blanca asked for it - soo-won also knows there's nothing he can do to make this situation better]
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It's--all right. You don't have to worry over it. If we continue finding out how to stop what's happening, whatever has been... taken from me, will hopefully be returned.
That's as much as any of us can do, I think.
[He glances up.]
I hope... Miss Lup is not... hurt too badly. I did not intend to... Well, I wouldn't have involved her in something so terrible to begin with, which is why... it's strange.
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[but his words are plain just as much as they are certain - this might be blanca's problem, because tied together as they are, soo-won thinks it's his problem too.
it's just what happens when you care about people.]
.... in truth, I don't understand the feelings that come with what happened between you two very clearly - but I will look after her as well.
She won't be alone - so I hope that you two can maintain whatever relationship you need in order to look after your own happiness and peace of mind.
[even if it's imperfect]
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Well, in this case, with... romantic feelings at least.]
I think we'll be okay, Soo-won. Thank you. [He looks a bit amused.] Have you ever been in love?
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No.... I haven't. I don't think that the sentiments have ever truly reached me.
[and he says this with a remarkable amount of certainty - but could someone who focuses so much on the benefit of all people truly let himself examine feelings like that if they ever did reach him?
it's hard to say.]
Though I do like people.
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[He doesn't begrudge Soo-won romance.]
I don't think you have to know that kind of love to also love people. As terrible as it is to say, sometimes being in love can distract you from how much you should love other people.
Whether it's being in love with yourself, or someone else.
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.... I think that love is a precious thing. My parents were very happy - and I admire how strongly they felt for one another.
But... you're not wrong. To love one person so much that you aren't able to witness the struggles of others....
A country can fall to ruin that way.
[and a king cannot make that choice without harming so many others]
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I think you can do both, even if it seems like it isn't possible. You can love one person more than anything, but also love other people too.
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