[sure, they're close enough to emotion share - there's a pique of interest at that, before soo-won... sighs quietly...]
... that would make all of them. Though I suppose I should have seen that coming.
[ . . . and for soo-won, there's a gradual increasing sensation of sadness, guilt, and - responsibility.]
I apologize for not making it readily apparent before, and not volunteering the information.
But Sharon came to me on Thursday and sought to kill me. Her death occurred in self-defense, which is why I insisted that we search for Cater's murderer instead. I can confess to you the details if you'd like - but I'd told Lup, and it did not feel right to not let you know as well, given what you've trusted me with.
[but taako's accomplice theory nearly got his ass killed so he figures that taako should understand at least this much]
[Taako goes through-- well, it's a bit hard to describe. He isn't that surprised, but he's swinging wildly through a bunch of other things. Anxiety, anger, relief, confusion, about everything.]
but soo-won seems to take all this rather easily - or perhaps, he expected it. he bows his head in response to that, in apology, before righting himself. the sense of duty remains on his shoulders, along with a feeling of worry - not for himself, but for others.]
I recognize the position that everyone who shared my hair color was put in - so I was hoping to gradually let people know through word of mouth this week that it was done in self-defense, to lessen suspicion. The last thing I want is for you, Lup, Jeanne, or anyone else to be put in a poor position because of me. Though I would still appreciate if my name specifically is left out of it.
[but trial's over now! and now one can vote for him to die while trying to look for a shittyass killler! so]
However it remains that we still have one person that we need to find and question for their actions.
[Just. Pinching the bridge of his nose and closing his eyes for a full fuckin' 30 seconds, just. Tired. Before he sighs out and most of the strong emotions fade. BURY IT DEEP.]
[ . . . . there's a few notes of amusement, fondness, though they're deeply subdued given the context that they occurred in - ]
.... she told me that if she were to ever lose some memories important to her, she may no longer be herself - and she might need to kill in order to get them back. I told her that I understood, and jokingly said that she could tell me by spelling it out with her cooking.
I told her that if I ever saw a need, I would tell her in tea leaves.
[obviously, that was supposed to be a joke]
... so when Friday came, and I was turned into a killer, I served her a different brew than I usually do. She wanted to tell you after Saturday -
But I thought I owed it to you to tell you myself.
the fastest compartmentalization in the world as suddenly soo-won's troubles fail to match anything in comparison to taako's, who has his undivided attention. his concern, simple and sincere, is hard to wade through]
No, I told her because she wanted to know, and because I owed it to her. I didn't intend on letting her take too much burden on, because she should rightfully prioritize her safety and yours.
[soo-won isn't actually the type to ask anyone to fix anything for him but - ]
... do you think that she's slipping away because she's reaching out too much?
[Shaking his head at that quickly - he did promise her he wouldn't be resentful if she reached out to others. But there's the uglier, jealous part that wants to hold on tighter because--]
I get it. I'm not pissed at your or anything, dude. Or-- I am, a little, if I'm being real, because what the fuck, but I'll get over it.
She always fixed things for me, too. Um, ever since we were little. Like, stupid shit, I'd get caught borrowing something for an tiny bit too long and she'd blast a hole in the wall so I could leave post-haste. Things like that.
But when she thinks I can't handle something, she leaves me behind.
[ . . . . Oh. there's a soft smile at that, coupled with a tilt of his head. guilt resurfaces as attention is brought to his murder again but - ]
You're changing the subject, but I'll allow it because I don't want you to be uncomfortable. Even so, I hope you know that you can talk to me about anything, and I'll find the conversation to be riveting and important no matter what. Even if it's about the Knicks.
[he has no idea what this joke means but he's trying]
The answer is that yes, I did. And it would appear as though killing means that your Leader gets a memory back as well, and they get more information about the Realm.
Which is a terrible way to get information, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't publicize it else we end up with a bloodbath.
[did he kill someone? yes. does he recommend it? No.]
[he's going to nod at that, and he can tell taako's trying! but rather - ]
Ah, no - I meant... now that means all the leaders know what I've done. I've mentioned what happened on Thursday to a few people, and all those people have been on different teams, as luck would have it.
[well. "luck". taako can probably feel the slight unease in soo-won's feelings, the curiosity about how he'll be received by the leader's going forward but.]
My hope is that if it's gradually released that what happened was in self-defense, none with blonde hair will continue to be suspected of wrong-doing.
But I also am not exactly eager to throw myself onto a sword after avoiding death three times last week.
[which he... also hopes taako understands]
I have another question: did your animal insignia on your PHS flash on Sunday?
Ah - no. If it hasn't, then that means Cater's murderer wasn't on your team. But if someone tells you that theirs did, could you let me know? It could be a lead.
I'm sure you can be very dangerous when you'd like! If anything, being underestimated works in your favor.
[said like SOMEONE WHO KNOWS WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT
anyway]
Thank you! I have to wait for some information to come back to me... but once I get a few things confirmed, I'll share with you the rest of what I've learned from the weekend.
Oh, and Swan seems a bit lonely and worried about being disliked, so I promised that I'd encourage their followers to see them more if I found them.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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soo-won is just going to laugh at that before waving a hand]
We needn't linger on it -
I just wanted to say thank you, again, for trusting me with it. And I wanted to ensure that I didn't need to embark on my duty of reminding you.
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Weird weekend, that's all.
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Actually, there's something that I wanted you to know. But before I do...
I was wondering if you would trust me with who your current leader is.
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[Reaching up to tug at a piece of hair over his forehead. If Soo-won is close enough to Emotion Share, he might feel a flair of anxiety though.]
Swan.
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... that would make all of them. Though I suppose I should have seen that coming.
[ . . . and for soo-won, there's a gradual increasing sensation of sadness, guilt, and - responsibility.]
I apologize for not making it readily apparent before, and not volunteering the information.
But Sharon came to me on Thursday and sought to kill me. Her death occurred in self-defense, which is why I insisted that we search for Cater's murderer instead. I can confess to you the details if you'd like - but I'd told Lup, and it did not feel right to not let you know as well, given what you've trusted me with.
[but taako's accomplice theory nearly got his ass killed so he figures that taako should understand at least this much]
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[Taako goes through-- well, it's a bit hard to describe. He isn't that surprised, but he's swinging wildly through a bunch of other things. Anxiety, anger, relief, confusion, about everything.]
What the fuck.
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but soo-won seems to take all this rather easily - or perhaps, he expected it. he bows his head in response to that, in apology, before righting himself. the sense of duty remains on his shoulders, along with a feeling of worry - not for himself, but for others.]
I recognize the position that everyone who shared my hair color was put in - so I was hoping to gradually let people know through word of mouth this week that it was done in self-defense, to lessen suspicion. The last thing I want is for you, Lup, Jeanne, or anyone else to be put in a poor position because of me. Though I would still appreciate if my name specifically is left out of it.
[but trial's over now! and now one can vote for him to die while trying to look for a shittyass killler! so]
However it remains that we still have one person that we need to find and question for their actions.
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It's-- Fuckin' shit.
. . . When did you tell Lup?
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.... she told me that if she were to ever lose some memories important to her, she may no longer be herself - and she might need to kill in order to get them back. I told her that I understood, and jokingly said that she could tell me by spelling it out with her cooking.
I told her that if I ever saw a need, I would tell her in tea leaves.
[obviously, that was supposed to be a joke]
... so when Friday came, and I was turned into a killer, I served her a different brew than I usually do. She wanted to tell you after Saturday -
But I thought I owed it to you to tell you myself.
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[He waves it off like it isn't a deal, but there's a feeling there, below the anxiety, that's just fear. Pure panic.]
I think I'm losing her again, is the thing.
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the fastest compartmentalization in the world as suddenly soo-won's troubles fail to match anything in comparison to taako's, who has his undivided attention. his concern, simple and sincere, is hard to wade through]
—How so?
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She's-- so good at fixing things, right? That's why you asked her, to help you fix things, isn't it?
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No, I told her because she wanted to know, and because I owed it to her. I didn't intend on letting her take too much burden on, because she should rightfully prioritize her safety and yours.
[soo-won isn't actually the type to ask anyone to fix anything for him but - ]
... do you think that she's slipping away because she's reaching out too much?
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I get it. I'm not pissed at your or anything, dude. Or-- I am, a little, if I'm being real, because what the fuck, but I'll get over it.
She always fixed things for me, too. Um, ever since we were little. Like, stupid shit, I'd get caught borrowing something for an tiny bit too long and she'd blast a hole in the wall so I could leave post-haste. Things like that.
But when she thinks I can't handle something, she leaves me behind.
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[he doesn't seem to mind - but he does hope that taako gets over it. but if he doesn't, he accepts that too.
this seems more pressing. and he thinks that he can understand, given what taako had said about the business of becoming a lich.]
.... It's difficult - when the one who is your whole heart seems to be running away without you, even when the sentiments are good-natured.
.... you still feel as though you can't speak to her about this?
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[Squinting at him a little.]
For example, playin' therapist to both of us has gotta get old sometime, right?
[Honestly if his emotions are anything to go by, that is said in full humor.]
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Therapist...?
[everyone in akayona needs therapy]
I'm asking after you both because you're my friends. I don't consider it a burden.
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[god,]
Got a question for you. If you killed someone, even in self-defense, did you get-- Did you get something back for it?
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You're changing the subject, but I'll allow it because I don't want you to be uncomfortable. Even so, I hope you know that you can talk to me about anything, and I'll find the conversation to be riveting and important no matter what. Even if it's about the Knicks.
[he has no idea what this joke means but he's trying]
The answer is that yes, I did. And it would appear as though killing means that your Leader gets a memory back as well, and they get more information about the Realm.
Which is a terrible way to get information, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't publicize it else we end up with a bloodbath.
[did he kill someone? yes. does he recommend it? No.]
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[He laughs - a bit dryly, but he's trying.]
Um, Are you Swan too? Mentioned that you knew the rest of the team.
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Ah, no - I meant... now that means all the leaders know what I've done. I've mentioned what happened on Thursday to a few people, and all those people have been on different teams, as luck would have it.
[well. "luck". taako can probably feel the slight unease in soo-won's feelings, the curiosity about how he'll be received by the leader's going forward but.]
My hope is that if it's gradually released that what happened was in self-defense, none with blonde hair will continue to be suspected of wrong-doing.
But I also am not exactly eager to throw myself onto a sword after avoiding death three times last week.
[which he... also hopes taako understands]
I have another question: did your animal insignia on your PHS flash on Sunday?
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[He tilts his head at that.]
N . . . no. Should it have? Fuck.
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he
can't help it he laughs a little]
Oh... perhaps!
[THAT COULD ALMOST BE RUDE, SOO-WON]
Ah - no. If it hasn't, then that means Cater's murderer wasn't on your team. But if someone tells you that theirs did, could you let me know? It could be a lead.
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[He doesn't feel THAT offended.]
Yeah, sure, I'll poke around.
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I'm sure you can be very dangerous when you'd like! If anything, being underestimated works in your favor.
[said like SOMEONE WHO KNOWS WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT
anyway]
Thank you! I have to wait for some information to come back to me... but once I get a few things confirmed, I'll share with you the rest of what I've learned from the weekend.
Oh, and Swan seems a bit lonely and worried about being disliked, so I promised that I'd encourage their followers to see them more if I found them.
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