[ . . . . there's a few notes of amusement, fondness, though they're deeply subdued given the context that they occurred in - ]
.... she told me that if she were to ever lose some memories important to her, she may no longer be herself - and she might need to kill in order to get them back. I told her that I understood, and jokingly said that she could tell me by spelling it out with her cooking.
I told her that if I ever saw a need, I would tell her in tea leaves.
[obviously, that was supposed to be a joke]
... so when Friday came, and I was turned into a killer, I served her a different brew than I usually do. She wanted to tell you after Saturday -
But I thought I owed it to you to tell you myself.
the fastest compartmentalization in the world as suddenly soo-won's troubles fail to match anything in comparison to taako's, who has his undivided attention. his concern, simple and sincere, is hard to wade through]
No, I told her because she wanted to know, and because I owed it to her. I didn't intend on letting her take too much burden on, because she should rightfully prioritize her safety and yours.
[soo-won isn't actually the type to ask anyone to fix anything for him but - ]
... do you think that she's slipping away because she's reaching out too much?
[Shaking his head at that quickly - he did promise her he wouldn't be resentful if she reached out to others. But there's the uglier, jealous part that wants to hold on tighter because--]
I get it. I'm not pissed at your or anything, dude. Or-- I am, a little, if I'm being real, because what the fuck, but I'll get over it.
She always fixed things for me, too. Um, ever since we were little. Like, stupid shit, I'd get caught borrowing something for an tiny bit too long and she'd blast a hole in the wall so I could leave post-haste. Things like that.
But when she thinks I can't handle something, she leaves me behind.
[ . . . . Oh. there's a soft smile at that, coupled with a tilt of his head. guilt resurfaces as attention is brought to his murder again but - ]
You're changing the subject, but I'll allow it because I don't want you to be uncomfortable. Even so, I hope you know that you can talk to me about anything, and I'll find the conversation to be riveting and important no matter what. Even if it's about the Knicks.
[he has no idea what this joke means but he's trying]
The answer is that yes, I did. And it would appear as though killing means that your Leader gets a memory back as well, and they get more information about the Realm.
Which is a terrible way to get information, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't publicize it else we end up with a bloodbath.
[did he kill someone? yes. does he recommend it? No.]
[he's going to nod at that, and he can tell taako's trying! but rather - ]
Ah, no - I meant... now that means all the leaders know what I've done. I've mentioned what happened on Thursday to a few people, and all those people have been on different teams, as luck would have it.
[well. "luck". taako can probably feel the slight unease in soo-won's feelings, the curiosity about how he'll be received by the leader's going forward but.]
My hope is that if it's gradually released that what happened was in self-defense, none with blonde hair will continue to be suspected of wrong-doing.
But I also am not exactly eager to throw myself onto a sword after avoiding death three times last week.
[which he... also hopes taako understands]
I have another question: did your animal insignia on your PHS flash on Sunday?
Ah - no. If it hasn't, then that means Cater's murderer wasn't on your team. But if someone tells you that theirs did, could you let me know? It could be a lead.
I'm sure you can be very dangerous when you'd like! If anything, being underestimated works in your favor.
[said like SOMEONE WHO KNOWS WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT
anyway]
Thank you! I have to wait for some information to come back to me... but once I get a few things confirmed, I'll share with you the rest of what I've learned from the weekend.
Oh, and Swan seems a bit lonely and worried about being disliked, so I promised that I'd encourage their followers to see them more if I found them.
Fufu, I'm sure that you get along with them fine - I think that they're just worried about everyone else. It seems that they're not used to having friends.
[which is sad! soo-won doesn't like it so he's gonna try to help.]
Ah - I think people are only starting to exchange.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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.... she told me that if she were to ever lose some memories important to her, she may no longer be herself - and she might need to kill in order to get them back. I told her that I understood, and jokingly said that she could tell me by spelling it out with her cooking.
I told her that if I ever saw a need, I would tell her in tea leaves.
[obviously, that was supposed to be a joke]
... so when Friday came, and I was turned into a killer, I served her a different brew than I usually do. She wanted to tell you after Saturday -
But I thought I owed it to you to tell you myself.
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[He waves it off like it isn't a deal, but there's a feeling there, below the anxiety, that's just fear. Pure panic.]
I think I'm losing her again, is the thing.
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the fastest compartmentalization in the world as suddenly soo-won's troubles fail to match anything in comparison to taako's, who has his undivided attention. his concern, simple and sincere, is hard to wade through]
—How so?
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She's-- so good at fixing things, right? That's why you asked her, to help you fix things, isn't it?
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No, I told her because she wanted to know, and because I owed it to her. I didn't intend on letting her take too much burden on, because she should rightfully prioritize her safety and yours.
[soo-won isn't actually the type to ask anyone to fix anything for him but - ]
... do you think that she's slipping away because she's reaching out too much?
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I get it. I'm not pissed at your or anything, dude. Or-- I am, a little, if I'm being real, because what the fuck, but I'll get over it.
She always fixed things for me, too. Um, ever since we were little. Like, stupid shit, I'd get caught borrowing something for an tiny bit too long and she'd blast a hole in the wall so I could leave post-haste. Things like that.
But when she thinks I can't handle something, she leaves me behind.
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[he doesn't seem to mind - but he does hope that taako gets over it. but if he doesn't, he accepts that too.
this seems more pressing. and he thinks that he can understand, given what taako had said about the business of becoming a lich.]
.... It's difficult - when the one who is your whole heart seems to be running away without you, even when the sentiments are good-natured.
.... you still feel as though you can't speak to her about this?
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[Squinting at him a little.]
For example, playin' therapist to both of us has gotta get old sometime, right?
[Honestly if his emotions are anything to go by, that is said in full humor.]
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Therapist...?
[everyone in akayona needs therapy]
I'm asking after you both because you're my friends. I don't consider it a burden.
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[god,]
Got a question for you. If you killed someone, even in self-defense, did you get-- Did you get something back for it?
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You're changing the subject, but I'll allow it because I don't want you to be uncomfortable. Even so, I hope you know that you can talk to me about anything, and I'll find the conversation to be riveting and important no matter what. Even if it's about the Knicks.
[he has no idea what this joke means but he's trying]
The answer is that yes, I did. And it would appear as though killing means that your Leader gets a memory back as well, and they get more information about the Realm.
Which is a terrible way to get information, so I'd appreciate it if you didn't publicize it else we end up with a bloodbath.
[did he kill someone? yes. does he recommend it? No.]
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[He laughs - a bit dryly, but he's trying.]
Um, Are you Swan too? Mentioned that you knew the rest of the team.
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Ah, no - I meant... now that means all the leaders know what I've done. I've mentioned what happened on Thursday to a few people, and all those people have been on different teams, as luck would have it.
[well. "luck". taako can probably feel the slight unease in soo-won's feelings, the curiosity about how he'll be received by the leader's going forward but.]
My hope is that if it's gradually released that what happened was in self-defense, none with blonde hair will continue to be suspected of wrong-doing.
But I also am not exactly eager to throw myself onto a sword after avoiding death three times last week.
[which he... also hopes taako understands]
I have another question: did your animal insignia on your PHS flash on Sunday?
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[He tilts his head at that.]
N . . . no. Should it have? Fuck.
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he
can't help it he laughs a little]
Oh... perhaps!
[THAT COULD ALMOST BE RUDE, SOO-WON]
Ah - no. If it hasn't, then that means Cater's murderer wasn't on your team. But if someone tells you that theirs did, could you let me know? It could be a lead.
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[He doesn't feel THAT offended.]
Yeah, sure, I'll poke around.
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I'm sure you can be very dangerous when you'd like! If anything, being underestimated works in your favor.
[said like SOMEONE WHO KNOWS WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT
anyway]
Thank you! I have to wait for some information to come back to me... but once I get a few things confirmed, I'll share with you the rest of what I've learned from the weekend.
Oh, and Swan seems a bit lonely and worried about being disliked, so I promised that I'd encourage their followers to see them more if I found them.
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[but,]
Don't really know anyone else's team though, so can't exactly help rustle up chatting partners.
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[which is sad! soo-won doesn't like it so he's gonna try to help.]
Ah - I think people are only starting to exchange.
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[teasing, mostly.]
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[but that said - ] And it's Goat.
[he winks, cheeky little shit]