[and he waves a hand at that, laugh turning sheepish]
The offer didn't stem from a desire to invade into your privacy - only to help. But so long as you feel assured in what you can do, then I'm perfectly happy for you!
I hope that it proves fruitful for you - I've been writing a few things down since we arrived, but it's a little disconcerting to see words that I know should mean something to me but... effectively don't.
[to which he sounds a little sheepish]
Though I suppose it helps in letting me know exactly what it is I've lost each week.
Like even if you can't read it just knowing it's there helps? [ she understands, woowoo. ]
I wanted to do that for my current memories, but when I was writing them down I realised I... don't really know what I've lost? They've either been so small that I can just look past them, or I've lost them so completely I don't even have an inkling something's missing.
While I can have a guess at other weeks... it's unclear for me what I lost just last week. It seems like everything's intact, and nothing's been brought to my attention of an odd missing space.
It seems like my notes weren't detailed enough, but it at least tells me that I need to be more detailed moving forward.
But a little memory loss is natural, isn't it? You tend to prioritise some events over others naturally, so little things can get lost along the way. Maybe your memory this week just wasn't as obvious as the others?
[ says alex, while i, becks, know that dana will have been picking memories like she's revving a motorbike to speed soo-won right off a trick ramp and into hell. ]
While that's possible... I'm not sure if this place is that kind. But I do like that way of thinking, so maybe I'll assume as much until proven otherwise.
It feels like we have a lot of those and not a lot of actual, proven correct knowledge yet, though. Both about how memory loss works and what's going on here.
Well... I haven't been able to get a better idea of the memory loss, unfortunately. Other than it seems that writing them down isn't entirely effective, considering that they don't suddenly conjure anything back, however it does work if you share your stories with someone. That someone will still remember them, even if you don't.
However nova can be generated in a few different ways. The primary ways are on Wednesdays, when those oddities seem to pop up, and Saturdays after trials. The strange adventures that you and I were caught up in also generate nova for that team. Nova can be attached to strong feelings, so there's also the belief that our bonds with the leaders as well as each other generate nova.
Finally, harming others can generate nova - but less than one might expect. Furthermore, during trials, we generate more nova if we correctly ascertain who committed the crime, and less if we get it wrong.
However thus far, unless Virid was on Wolf's team, they have not harmed anyone and yet maintain their lead. It's rather impressive. It may be that since Wolf is in the lead, more people from other teams are visiting him regardless, and that helps only add to his lead?
That's what I've been able to ascertain so far in the realm of nova generation and memory.
... Ah, that was actually something I was trying to puzzle out. What contributed the most to nova gathering. I knew what counted, but not how much. Although what about Saturdays after trial count towards nova gathering? [ she sounds less impressed ] Our emotional trauma?
The top of the list didn’t change that much. The biggest thing was Goat’s team jumping as high as they did. Does that mean both Wolf and Rabbit have been managing without committing murder?
[ ... ]
Did you want to share a memory with me? If it will mean someone remembers it even if you don’t.
[alex: i want info soo-won: what kind alex: idk any soo-won: just unloads literally fucking everything he has]
Mm... It may be our emotional trauma - but it may also be that voting itself contributes to it, from what I've heard. So it may just be that so many nova-generating events happen on one day, it makes them rather vital.
[if he had to take a guess?]
I'm unsure about that but... that would require me finding more than just one person on both Wolf and Rabbit's teams. And given the way that everything was weighted, we can't even be certain that Goat did commit murder since apparently that generates less nova than expected.
[so maybe goat just got really lucky with? votes??? cyoa????] I'd need more people's alignments in order to be truly sure...
[though the offer manages to get him to blink]
.... I suppose I could - though I wonder what memory to share.... Maybe something about my father...?
So it could just be that Goat's team was accurate with voting and got more involved with the extra things going on here, rather than committing murder. That... complicates things a bit. We can't really narrow down teams based on rank movement if that's the case.
[ ... ]
Are you willing to share with me, if I share with you? It can't hurt to know some more alignments myself.
[ and then she nods. ]
Whatever you want to share. Or, I guess, whatever you want to lose the least. I'll try my best to keep it safe.
.... I would but I'm afraid that I've been cautioned that telling more than three people each week isn't exactly recommended. Some asked me and some put me in positions where I had to confirm - I'm sorry.
I really wouldn't mind sharing otherwise.
[the only thing soo-won and lili have in common is they have a fucking queue of people who want to know their alignments]
But ah - certainly. I can hold onto something important for you as well, if you'd like.
Not all that many.... All I sought was to know one person on each team - and I've accomplished that. I don't see a reason to continue to pursue alignments now that I have that much.
[he's not really.... interested in the whole competition aspect tbh..... so this is just something that he's going along with]
Mm, then... if there's a memory that I wish to hold onto....
[ . . . ]
Once when we were children, Yona and I, along with our friend Hak, all suddenly came down with colds. We were visited by a few adults - one of them being Elder Mun-deok who was Hak's grandfather and he gave us quite the chewing out, but it was done with nothing short of affection. Though I was most excited when my father came in - he told me to destroy the cold, much like the impressive general he was. I had to claim victory over it!
[and that... makes him laugh a little bit.]
.... it was a very funny day, where we were all just laid out in our beds together with runny noses, but I'd thought... it would be nice if that day could last forever. If everything could always be that simple and sweet. But perhaps that's just the wishes of children.
[with the story comes feelings of wistfulness, of dreaming and wanting - with an undercurrent of heartache. the pain of growing up and loss, and no longer being able to be with the ones you love.
after all - ]
My father passed away not too long after that, so I suppose... it's a memory that I treasure for more than just one reason.
[ ... huh. ] That's still impressive. I just managed to stumble across two people willing to share, so I could try and see about getting more information.
[ we can see how that's working out for her. ]
... Ah. I'm sorry to hear about your father.
It's the little memories that are usually the most precious ones though. Nothing special just remembering someone you love, or doing something important to you. They're small, but they hurt the most when they're gone.
It could be helpful - there are some things that I seek to confirm with the teams each week.... so having a range of contacts could be beneficial.
[even though soo-won himself doesn't seem like he's going out of his way to look for them? hate this bitch's dumb luck every time.
anyway. he smiles a little bit at that, even though a sense of loss and longing seems to settle in his feelings as she speaks.
do the memories need to be forgotten for those days to be gone?]
.... mm. You aren't wrong. Things have changed and we're no longer able to waste away days like that together but... they were nice when they lasted. My father's presence, too....
I'm proud of the person that he was, until the end, and I only wish I got more time with him.
[ if dana's curse isn't attacking her with shipping, it's attacking her with plot. i figured it out. ]
You never have enough time. Or, I think that's what I'm realising. If it's someone important to you, you could have all the time in the world and it would never be enough.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Then I suppose that's one strategy, to ensure that none but you could get to them.
I wish I could offer more advice on how to guard them carefully... but I'm afraid memory theft is still a new enemy I haven't been sure how to battle.
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I'll figure something out for these. But you'll understand if I don't tell you where I'm keeping them, right?
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[and he waves a hand at that, laugh turning sheepish]
The offer didn't stem from a desire to invade into your privacy - only to help. But so long as you feel assured in what you can do, then I'm perfectly happy for you!
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[to which he sounds a little sheepish]
Though I suppose it helps in letting me know exactly what it is I've lost each week.
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I wanted to do that for my current memories, but when I was writing them down I realised I... don't really know what I've lost? They've either been so small that I can just look past them, or I've lost them so completely I don't even have an inkling something's missing.
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While I can have a guess at other weeks... it's unclear for me what I lost just last week. It seems like everything's intact, and nothing's been brought to my attention of an odd missing space.
It seems like my notes weren't detailed enough, but it at least tells me that I need to be more detailed moving forward.
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[ says alex, while i, becks, know that dana will have been picking memories like she's revving a motorbike to speed soo-won right off a trick ramp and into hell. ]
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but soo-won just hums thoughtfully at that]
While that's possible... I'm not sure if this place is that kind. But I do like that way of thinking, so maybe I'll assume as much until proven otherwise.
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It's a possibility, at least.
...
It feels like we have a lot of those and not a lot of actual, proven correct knowledge yet, though. Both about how memory loss works and what's going on here.
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What are you seeking to know?
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However nova can be generated in a few different ways. The primary ways are on Wednesdays, when those oddities seem to pop up, and Saturdays after trials. The strange adventures that you and I were caught up in also generate nova for that team. Nova can be attached to strong feelings, so there's also the belief that our bonds with the leaders as well as each other generate nova.
Finally, harming others can generate nova - but less than one might expect. Furthermore, during trials, we generate more nova if we correctly ascertain who committed the crime, and less if we get it wrong.
However thus far, unless Virid was on Wolf's team, they have not harmed anyone and yet maintain their lead. It's rather impressive. It may be that since Wolf is in the lead, more people from other teams are visiting him regardless, and that helps only add to his lead?
That's what I've been able to ascertain so far in the realm of nova generation and memory.
Does that help?
no subject
... Ah, that was actually something I was trying to puzzle out. What contributed the most to nova gathering. I knew what counted, but not how much. Although what about Saturdays after trial count towards nova gathering? [ she sounds less impressed ] Our emotional trauma?
The top of the list didn’t change that much. The biggest thing was Goat’s team jumping as high as they did. Does that mean both Wolf and Rabbit have been managing without committing murder?
[ ... ]
Did you want to share a memory with me? If it will mean someone remembers it even if you don’t.
no subject
soo-won: what kind
alex: idk any
soo-won: just unloads literally fucking everything he has]
Mm... It may be our emotional trauma - but it may also be that voting itself contributes to it, from what I've heard. So it may just be that so many nova-generating events happen on one day, it makes them rather vital.
[if he had to take a guess?]
I'm unsure about that but... that would require me finding more than just one person on both Wolf and Rabbit's teams. And given the way that everything was weighted, we can't even be certain that Goat did commit murder since apparently that generates less nova than expected.
[so maybe goat just got really lucky with? votes??? cyoa????] I'd need more people's alignments in order to be truly sure...
[though the offer manages to get him to blink]
.... I suppose I could - though I wonder what memory to share.... Maybe something about my father...?
no subject
So it could just be that Goat's team was accurate with voting and got more involved with the extra things going on here, rather than committing murder. That... complicates things a bit. We can't really narrow down teams based on rank movement if that's the case.
[ ... ]
Are you willing to share with me, if I share with you? It can't hurt to know some more alignments myself.
[ and then she nods. ]
Whatever you want to share. Or, I guess, whatever you want to lose the least. I'll try my best to keep it safe.
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.... I would but I'm afraid that I've been cautioned that telling more than three people each week isn't exactly recommended. Some asked me and some put me in positions where I had to confirm - I'm sorry.
I really wouldn't mind sharing otherwise.
[the only thing soo-won and lili have in common is they have a fucking queue of people who want to know their alignments]
But ah - certainly. I can hold onto something important for you as well, if you'd like.
no subject
I can hold off and tell you later. I'm not sure I want to push the rules of this place if someone else is going to get hurt because of it.
[ ... ] Although now I'm curious about how many teams you actually know.
... Yeah. That sounds fair. A memory for a memory, then.
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Not all that many.... All I sought was to know one person on each team - and I've accomplished that. I don't see a reason to continue to pursue alignments now that I have that much.
[he's not really.... interested in the whole competition aspect tbh..... so this is just something that he's going along with]
Mm, then... if there's a memory that I wish to hold onto....
[ . . . ]
Once when we were children, Yona and I, along with our friend Hak, all suddenly came down with colds. We were visited by a few adults - one of them being Elder Mun-deok who was Hak's grandfather and he gave us quite the chewing out, but it was done with nothing short of affection. Though I was most excited when my father came in - he told me to destroy the cold, much like the impressive general he was. I had to claim victory over it!
[and that... makes him laugh a little bit.]
.... it was a very funny day, where we were all just laid out in our beds together with runny noses, but I'd thought... it would be nice if that day could last forever. If everything could always be that simple and sweet. But perhaps that's just the wishes of children.
[with the story comes feelings of wistfulness, of dreaming and wanting - with an undercurrent of heartache. the pain of growing up and loss, and no longer being able to be with the ones you love.
after all - ]
My father passed away not too long after that, so I suppose... it's a memory that I treasure for more than just one reason.
no subject
[ we can see how that's working out for her. ]
... Ah. I'm sorry to hear about your father.
It's the little memories that are usually the most precious ones though. Nothing special just remembering someone you love, or doing something important to you. They're small, but they hurt the most when they're gone.
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It could be helpful - there are some things that I seek to confirm with the teams each week.... so having a range of contacts could be beneficial.
[even though soo-won himself doesn't seem like he's going out of his way to look for them? hate this bitch's dumb luck every time.
anyway. he smiles a little bit at that, even though a sense of loss and longing seems to settle in his feelings as she speaks.
do the memories need to be forgotten for those days to be gone?]
.... mm. You aren't wrong. Things have changed and we're no longer able to waste away days like that together but... they were nice when they lasted. My father's presence, too....
I'm proud of the person that he was, until the end, and I only wish I got more time with him.
no subject
You never have enough time. Or, I think that's what I'm realising. If it's someone important to you, you could have all the time in the world and it would never be enough.
It's a bit cruel, isn't it?
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... it is.
But perhaps it's all the more important then to treasure every moment that you get, as we don't know when it will be over.
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Well, at the very least, we can do our best and walk forward. Everything will hopefully fall into place after that.
And you, Alex? A memory you'd like me to hold onto for you?
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