Understandably so - but given that you won't be dealing in any death, could I get a discount?
[he's also teasing]
Consider it done, then. I look forward to working with you, Blanca.
First, I would like to know if there are any memories that you would consider killing over of your own volition. I would also like to know if or when you choose to take action on that.
In exchange, I'll mention that I don't think that any of my memories are worth killing over. However the success of stabilizing the Realm and returning everyone to their homes is my first priority. If anything should put my kingdom in jeopardy, I will act accordingly.
[he says
with the same bright smile that he says everything else
is it any wonder why no one takes him seriously or believes he's royalty]
[The teasing expression slowly fades into something more serious. His brows furrow. There isn't exactly anything he can say to this, especially not being hired.
[admittedly, given their conversations, he does possess a guess!
however he doesn't want to assume]
... if you do not wish to take life here, I hope you'll understand that I do intend to support you in that. I may have hired you - but I'm invested in your well-being as well.
[there's a briefly amused, softer expression at that]
.... make no mistake, I will let you know the matters in which I need assistance. However, Hansa has volunteered to serve as my bodyguard as well. I consider myself fortunate and honored to be someone that people think worth following - even if in your case it is in exchange for compensation.
But we are all people, with desires and goals. And before I am your employer, I hope to be your friend. To that extent - for whatever desires and goals you may have, I hope that you will seek to use me as well.
You've mentioned your wife to me before... and I understand whatever it is you may need to do in order to return her memory to you.
I ask that you make me aware if you notice any major changes, and then we will try to get you back to being yourself in your entirety, so long as that is what you desire. You have my word.
[His expression says, "I see," at the information, but he doesn't interrupt Soo-Won with any interjection.]
I'm not sure I will know if there are any changes until it happens. If I'm not myself, but I don't know why... would I even know I'm not myself at all?
Is it any right of mine to recollect [badumtish] the memory of my wife if it means keeping someone else from a chance to do the same with their own...?
[hmmmmm. soo-won looks thoughtful at that, even as he looks out into space.]
... I considered similarly. After considering it... I would be alright with losing my father's memory, or my mother, or my kingdom - for as long as I am myself, I would still love my country, even if I am not king. I determined that as long as I am not a danger to others, I do not need to kill to return my own memory.
Because I love people, and spilling blood to advance my own desires would corrupt that identity I want so badly to preserve.
However that is a choice that I made for myself.
And so if you become a threat to others, and I notice this change, I will try to help you back to yourself. But I'd like you to let me know sooner rather than later, how you want me to help you.
If that would be to kill in order to come back to yourself, or to try to find another way to break through to you. Whichever it is you choose, I will complete.
You are only two years older than my last employer, but he wouldn't have ever put others before his own desires. Even though he wanted love, he did not love people because they had betrayed him many times.
[He watches Soo-Won's reflection more than Soo-Won--the young man's face, more importantly. His own lips are thin and a bit pensive.]
I would rather not die. However... I must warn you, I can become a very dangerous man, as I'm sure you're smart enough to realize. If I lose the humanity she has given me, I will be more dangerous than I already am.
You won't have any choice but to try to kill me. More than likely.
[ . . . the mention of blanca's previous employer gets soo-won to listen - before he manages a soft smile at it.
all he has ever done in his life is put others before his own desires.
his happiness, his loved ones, his health and his peace of mind - none of them matter nearly so much in the face of protecting the chance that other people might find joy.
he turns to face him and he drops his smile, but the sincerity remains in his eyes]
I don't want you to die.
[he doesn't want anyone to die, no matter the blood on his own hands, for all life is precious and no matter what blanca's done in the past, he should still get to live for as long as he can, in the circumstances of his choosing.]
I'll make every attempt to restore your humanity to you, or make you think that your humanity is worth aspiring for once again.
But if I discern that the risks to others outweighs my progress and am truly left with no other choice - I will keep your warning in mind.
[His lips curl, but the smile is a little humorless in the face of their deep conversation.]
You are very kind. But what are you going to do if Mister Hansa and I happen to fall into the same situation at the same time?
Are you going to be able to keep me from being the soldier I once was when you are also trying to keep everyone else safe? You're spreading yourself a little thin, Your Majesty, as much as I'm flattered.
Admittedly, I don't know if Hansa has a situation like that - but I guess I'll ask him and find out.
[but he doesn't seem to really be flinching much underneath the questioning, or the warning. the truth is that in the scope of his life, the idea of trying to take humanity into one soldier versus protecting the lives of forty people isn't nearly as daunting as the other considerations he normally has on his shoulders.
he can handle this - with the grace of a king.]
But you needn't worry about whether or not I'll be able to separate matters, or make decisions. My father always told me that if we don't swiftly apply reasoning to the situations we find ourselves in, nothing will be accomplished.
I'll do what is necessary.
But I do not want you to think that I will give up on you without hesitation, or that your life is immediately expendable the instant that you become a liability.
[Honestly, he does not know what exactly to do with this damn boy. Not like Yut-Lung at all really. A lot more like Ash, and he isn't sure if that makes him relieved, or worried.]
I appreciate your concern for my dignity.
[It's probably the least he could receive, considering the shit he's elected to do in his life.]
Besides assisting you on Thursday, what would you have me do for now, sir?
[his expression lightens up rather easily with the departure of the topic - ]
'Soo-won' really is fine if it's just us... [he won't fight it that hard but he doesn't want blanca to feel obligated to call him 'sir'!!]
I'd like to gather information. From what I understand, I can exchange teams with people over the course of the week - I'm currently testing three exchanges each week. There's no real purpose to this besides understanding who has easier access to each Leader and their biases.
I want to know what each Leader is telling their teams, their desire to win, and their general temperament. I'll be taking to visiting them all myself, of course, but making sure there aren't any discrepancies in information is our first step.
[He is going to continue calling Soo-Won "sir" or "Mister," rip. Enjoy Blanca's etiquette.
This all seems reasonable, honestly, and his expression is interested, but neutral. But the brows furrow gently at the question. He looks hesitant, maybe not exactly because it's Soo-Won who is asking.]
It could be dangerous to do this so freely. Someone with less scruples wouldn't hesitate the lower team numbers for a win.
[He is pointedly sort of looking at Soo-Won. Not accusingly. But like, Soo-Won said he would do what needed to be done.]
I don't really care about winning or participating in their game.
The wish and the competition don't matter to me - I'm trying to discern how much we can trust our Leaders. My leader told me that it's tense amongst them, possibly because they feel as though they can no longer trust each other because they might be encouraging their team members to kill. I'd like to see if there's truth in that statement, but they aren't likely to admit something like that to someone who isn't on their team.
[he waves a hand]
My goals and ambitions are not ones I intend to rely on wishes or gods for. I only want to get as many people out of here as possible and ensure no harm comes to my kingdom - we spoke on the first day about priorities and hopes. Mine haven't changed.
[the less casualties the better, which is unfortunate because i, dana, want blood]
[though he says it with an obvious smile and laugh, and hopefully before blanca can get mad - ]
I'm with Goat.
So it's fortunate perhaps, that neither they nor I have much interest in winning. I intend on keeping all of your secrets just as you'll keep mine, Blanca. I hope to earn your trust.
[HIS EXPRESSION IS BRIEFLY VERY TIRED THIS TIME. This feels very Ash without the extreme sass.]
Stubborn, hm?
[He has to take his own teasing where he can get it.]
Admittedly, I haven't spoken very much with Fox aside from an introduction. I was seeing if I could find better questions to ask them specifically. They don't seem so bad, I suppose. A little... foxish, I guess you could say.
[the teasing just makes soo-won laugh, which is terrible]
That sounds about right. Then if you could meet with them, I'd like to hear answers on the following - how much they wish to win, their take on removing other competitors to win, and what they believe 'removal' means.
I like Goat very much - but we're more like friends than a Leader and a follower. [this is also in part because soo-won just. isn't a follower-type.] But they've been very clear that they don't wish for me to kill anyone, and they said that the 'removed' are gone and we should not expect to see them again.
However that answer only came after I asked if they know what happened to the 'removed' - and they delayed, saying that they did not know how to answer without bringing consequences upon everyone. Which makes me think the matter is slightly more complicated than that.
Whatever findings you have, let's bring them together by the end of the week. I'll be asking Lup and Hansa to do the same, I think.
[He frowns at the "removed are gone," but then the expression relaxes slightly when Soo-Won explains. It does sound like there is more to it than simply that, he thinks.
He's a bit glad. Or... hopeful, rather.]
I'll talk to Fox by the end of the week for you. [Just to make it clear he understands.] You have Miss Lup pulled into your little web, too?
[he nods! that is indeed what he wants - but the idea of lup being pulled into his web.... he looks a little confused? even at the teasing? what does that MEAN, blanca]
Mm... I don't know what your phrasing implies...
But I think it easiest to reveal my team to those who certainly wish no harm to me, and understand I wouldn't harm them. It's as you said - anyone more worried about the competition is less likely to be honest.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[For a moment, he peers at Soo-Won thoughtfully, partially smiling.]
My rate is usually very high, depending on what I'm doing.
[He's teasing.]
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[he's also teasing]
Consider it done, then. I look forward to working with you, Blanca.
First, I would like to know if there are any memories that you would consider killing over of your own volition. I would also like to know if or when you choose to take action on that.
In exchange, I'll mention that I don't think that any of my memories are worth killing over. However the success of stabilizing the Realm and returning everyone to their homes is my first priority. If anything should put my kingdom in jeopardy, I will act accordingly.
[he says
with the same bright smile that he says everything else
is it any wonder why no one takes him seriously or believes he's royalty]
no subject
[The teasing expression slowly fades into something more serious. His brows furrow. There isn't exactly anything he can say to this, especially not being hired.
Even if he does so sometimes anyway.]
There... may be one. Potentially.
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[admittedly, given their conversations, he does possess a guess!
however he doesn't want to assume]
... if you do not wish to take life here, I hope you'll understand that I do intend to support you in that. I may have hired you - but I'm invested in your well-being as well.
no subject
I must admit, you are more lenient than my last employer.
[His brows again pinch momentarily. He is hesitant, and then he sighs slightly.]
...my wife. I don't believe I'd enjoy forgetting her. I'm not sure if... forgetting her would change who I am.
no subject
.... make no mistake, I will let you know the matters in which I need assistance. However, Hansa has volunteered to serve as my bodyguard as well. I consider myself fortunate and honored to be someone that people think worth following - even if in your case it is in exchange for compensation.
But we are all people, with desires and goals. And before I am your employer, I hope to be your friend. To that extent - for whatever desires and goals you may have, I hope that you will seek to use me as well.
You've mentioned your wife to me before... and I understand whatever it is you may need to do in order to return her memory to you.
I ask that you make me aware if you notice any major changes, and then we will try to get you back to being yourself in your entirety, so long as that is what you desire. You have my word.
no subject
I'm not sure I will know if there are any changes until it happens. If I'm not myself, but I don't know why... would I even know I'm not myself at all?
Is it any right of mine to recollect [badumtish] the memory of my wife if it means keeping someone else from a chance to do the same with their own...?
no subject
... I considered similarly. After considering it... I would be alright with losing my father's memory, or my mother, or my kingdom - for as long as I am myself, I would still love my country, even if I am not king. I determined that as long as I am not a danger to others, I do not need to kill to return my own memory.
Because I love people, and spilling blood to advance my own desires would corrupt that identity I want so badly to preserve.
However that is a choice that I made for myself.
And so if you become a threat to others, and I notice this change, I will try to help you back to yourself. But I'd like you to let me know sooner rather than later, how you want me to help you.
If that would be to kill in order to come back to yourself, or to try to find another way to break through to you. Whichever it is you choose, I will complete.
no subject
[He watches Soo-Won's reflection more than Soo-Won--the young man's face, more importantly. His own lips are thin and a bit pensive.]
I would rather not die. However... I must warn you, I can become a very dangerous man, as I'm sure you're smart enough to realize. If I lose the humanity she has given me, I will be more dangerous than I already am.
You won't have any choice but to try to kill me. More than likely.
no subject
all he has ever done in his life is put others before his own desires.
his happiness, his loved ones, his health and his peace of mind - none of them matter nearly so much in the face of protecting the chance that other people might find joy.
he turns to face him and he drops his smile, but the sincerity remains in his eyes]
I don't want you to die.
[he doesn't want anyone to die, no matter the blood on his own hands, for all life is precious and no matter what blanca's done in the past, he should still get to live for as long as he can, in the circumstances of his choosing.]
I'll make every attempt to restore your humanity to you, or make you think that your humanity is worth aspiring for once again.
But if I discern that the risks to others outweighs my progress and am truly left with no other choice - I will keep your warning in mind.
no subject
You are very kind. But what are you going to do if Mister Hansa and I happen to fall into the same situation at the same time?
Are you going to be able to keep me from being the soldier I once was when you are also trying to keep everyone else safe? You're spreading yourself a little thin, Your Majesty, as much as I'm flattered.
no subject
[but he doesn't seem to really be flinching much underneath the questioning, or the warning. the truth is that in the scope of his life, the idea of trying to take humanity into one soldier versus protecting the lives of forty people isn't nearly as daunting as the other considerations he normally has on his shoulders.
he can handle this - with the grace of a king.]
But you needn't worry about whether or not I'll be able to separate matters, or make decisions. My father always told me that if we don't swiftly apply reasoning to the situations we find ourselves in, nothing will be accomplished.
I'll do what is necessary.
But I do not want you to think that I will give up on you without hesitation, or that your life is immediately expendable the instant that you become a liability.
You deserve more dignity than that.
no subject
I appreciate your concern for my dignity.
[It's probably the least he could receive, considering the shit he's elected to do in his life.]
Besides assisting you on Thursday, what would you have me do for now, sir?
no subject
'Soo-won' really is fine if it's just us... [he won't fight it that hard but he doesn't want blanca to feel obligated to call him 'sir'!!]
I'd like to gather information. From what I understand, I can exchange teams with people over the course of the week - I'm currently testing three exchanges each week. There's no real purpose to this besides understanding who has easier access to each Leader and their biases.
I want to know what each Leader is telling their teams, their desire to win, and their general temperament. I'll be taking to visiting them all myself, of course, but making sure there aren't any discrepancies in information is our first step.
Care for an exchange, Blanca?
no subject
[He is going to continue calling Soo-Won "sir" or "Mister," rip. Enjoy Blanca's etiquette.
This all seems reasonable, honestly, and his expression is interested, but neutral. But the brows furrow gently at the question. He looks hesitant, maybe not exactly because it's Soo-Won who is asking.]
It could be dangerous to do this so freely. Someone with less scruples wouldn't hesitate the lower team numbers for a win.
[He is pointedly sort of looking at Soo-Won. Not accusingly. But like, Soo-Won said he would do what needed to be done.]
no subject
however - ]
I don't really care about winning or participating in their game.
The wish and the competition don't matter to me - I'm trying to discern how much we can trust our Leaders. My leader told me that it's tense amongst them, possibly because they feel as though they can no longer trust each other because they might be encouraging their team members to kill. I'd like to see if there's truth in that statement, but they aren't likely to admit something like that to someone who isn't on their team.
[he waves a hand]
My goals and ambitions are not ones I intend to rely on wishes or gods for. I only want to get as many people out of here as possible and ensure no harm comes to my kingdom - we spoke on the first day about priorities and hopes. Mine haven't changed.
[the less casualties the better, which is unfortunate because i, dana, want blood]
no subject
You make a good argument.
[He is still hesitant for a moment, or two, and then he sighs gently. It's not tired so much as resigned.]
I am on Fox's team. You are the only one who knows this information besides me. I should hope it wouldn't get out.
no subject
[though he says it with an obvious smile and laugh, and hopefully before blanca can get mad - ]
I'm with Goat.
So it's fortunate perhaps, that neither they nor I have much interest in winning. I intend on keeping all of your secrets just as you'll keep mine, Blanca. I hope to earn your trust.
How's Fox as a Leader?
no subject
Stubborn, hm?
[He has to take his own teasing where he can get it.]
Admittedly, I haven't spoken very much with Fox aside from an introduction. I was seeing if I could find better questions to ask them specifically. They don't seem so bad, I suppose. A little... foxish, I guess you could say.
no subject
That sounds about right. Then if you could meet with them, I'd like to hear answers on the following - how much they wish to win, their take on removing other competitors to win, and what they believe 'removal' means.
I like Goat very much - but we're more like friends than a Leader and a follower. [this is also in part because soo-won just. isn't a follower-type.] But they've been very clear that they don't wish for me to kill anyone, and they said that the 'removed' are gone and we should not expect to see them again.
However that answer only came after I asked if they know what happened to the 'removed' - and they delayed, saying that they did not know how to answer without bringing consequences upon everyone. Which makes me think the matter is slightly more complicated than that.
Whatever findings you have, let's bring them together by the end of the week. I'll be asking Lup and Hansa to do the same, I think.
no subject
He's a bit glad. Or... hopeful, rather.]
I'll talk to Fox by the end of the week for you. [Just to make it clear he understands.] You have Miss Lup pulled into your little web, too?
[He smiles like he's teasing.]
no subject
Mm... I don't know what your phrasing implies...
But I think it easiest to reveal my team to those who certainly wish no harm to me, and understand I wouldn't harm them. It's as you said - anyone more worried about the competition is less likely to be honest.
That's all?
no subject
You aren't wrong. My apologies. I was only teasing. You are gathering a good handful of us, is all.
Are you making yourself a council?
[HE IS STILL TEASING.]
no subject
[his answer is too serious, coupled with a wistful sigh -
before before he manages a bright smile and a laugh]
But all this is a joint effort, isn't it? I'd like to work together where possible. I'll be relying on you. Please rely on me, too.
no subject
It's a joint effort, yes. We should all work together as much as we can. It'll help us find the information we need to fix things.
[He bows at Soo-Won from the shoulders up, just slightly.]
I'll rely on you, sir.