I escorted her back to room as soon as trial was finished - but I didn't wish to push the subject right after she'd been drugged and accused of murder.
So I'll ask her again tomorrow, when her spirits might be better and her heart stronger.
It's not as though I truly doubt her original answer but....
[he tilts her head]
I suppose I just want to be sure. I'm worried that those who have committed murders here... they might be worried that they'd only be attacked again after they escaped execution.
[ . . . . he offers a soft smile at that. in his emotions - there's notes of fondness, but also a curiosity that sneaks out of the neat little box that he keeps most of his emotions ins.
coupled with a little whisper of sadness.]
What do you think of all this, Zuko?
It's difficult, isn't it? I can't help but wonder if anything we truly do in this situation is right or wrong - not when people shouldn't be losing memories in the first place, or in situations where they have to save others by killing.
[ even though zuko's muted (it's mostly due to exhaustion), he can't really parse the way soo-won's dealing with his emotions. just, locked away. ]
The whole situation is messed up and wrong. [ especially if that nova-splintering business is what's happening.... if everyone is at risk, isn't the best thing to do what shima did? but then, they still have to vote on the culprit..... ] I don't think there's any right way to go around it..... the best thing we can do is try to get to the root of all this before we all die.
[sometimes you compartmentalize aggressively so that you don't feel so sad that you become paralyzed.]
.... I'm in agreement.
[and he seems almost relieved to hear zuko's words but also - ]
.... it must be frustrating to you as well, given the lack of information that we have at present. There's still plenty of mysteries and uncertainties going about.
And given the use of the sleeping drug in order to make him easier to kill, it doesn't feel as though it could've been done in self-defense. So there's a chance that someone simply had a memory they deeply wanted back as soon as possible.
[a beat]
By the by, did you regain a memory today, Zuko? Without having to harm another.
[ zuko nods along to this -- it seems like soo-won is basically echoing what he was already thinking ] I keep wondering if there's some kind of other incentive......
[ in a way, losing memories is plenty of motive. so is winning. but still. he feels like he's missing something. ]
And I'm sorry but I think that narrows down your team to fewer options for me - but I don't intend on forcing you to confess anything. But I think that once we pass certain nova thresholds, we start regaining things.
As of today, everyone should've gotten back one item from home - and a few teams also got a memory.
[another beat.]
And I have something else that I wanted to talk to you about.
[ zuko was so sure -- there's a flash of mild irritation at the answer, not at soo-won, but just because he doesn't like the sharing rules and finds them to be a massive inconvenience ]
[ it's so fleeting, though, because what soo-won says next takes him by pretty strong surprise -- ]
[ -- and becomes relief. equally strong relief. and gratefulness? probably not the reaction he expected. ]
and those are emotions that soo-won can't catch quickly enough - because he is surprisingly honest, he's just also someone who would rather omit things to prevent them from coming to light. but this happens so fast that there's no way he could hide them.
the surprise and - despite zuko's own response, there is the twist of guilt. because he still stole a life, and so perhaps the relief fits oddly with him. he is still a killer, and he will not hide from that fact.
but more so there is -
remarkable fondness, the gentlest amusement, and the settling of his emotions into something pleasantly surprised, warm and kind]
.... she told me that someone was looking for me and I was hesitant, in truth, but -
.... you already defended me during the trial. I thought that letting you know this much was the least I could do.
I ask, of course, that you keep this knowledge to yourself.
[ it's not as though zuko enjoys killing, or that it's something he's willing to just overlook - but the longer he's been here, the more he's realized there's no right way out of this situation. sometimes, the hard decisions have to be made. and he would never begrudge anyone -- certainly not soo-won -- for defending themselves against an attempted murder. ]
It means a lot. And.... this is one secret I'll be glad to keep.
[ dancing around teams and rules is annoying, but he's genuine in his desire to protect soo-won. he never wanted a target on sharon's killer's back. he never had any intention of spreading it. he just wanted to know the truth ]
[ . . . . he just makes a motion then for them to keep walking - if only so that they can keep moving instead of remaining in one spot. once they're a bit further away from town, he'll explain.]
... everyone around me one by one fell asleep, Goat included. After ensuring that there was no way to wake them, Sharon came to approach me with some tea. I declined to take any, in case of poison.
... she explained to me what she'd lost as memory. She'd started telling me the beginning of a story on Monday - and then she finished it that evening. [there is the slightest test of sadness that escapes him - a grief. not for himself, but for sharon.] I believe she was under the impression that I would understand why she felt the need to take a life.
I did... and I do.
[even when he speaks, it's devoid of anger. there is no grudge, no ill will.]
... but you'd said it yourself. I'd already died twice that day. I didn't wish to make it a third. I told her my own reasons for why I can't die - oh, I'm a king, by the way - and she instead chose to challenge me to a duel.
[i will allow the story to pause bc he just dropped a lot of information all at once]
[ good instincts. zuko's already been looking around to make sure they're not being eavesdropped on, but as soon as soo-won gestures, he's walking along with no hesitation. ]
[ he listens quietly to this explanation -- though he didn't know sharon well, this all slots in with his initial thoughts. it's almost comforting to know that both of them acted with honor (tm) throughout this exchange, and -- ]
A king!?
[ he had the feeling soo-won was some kind of royalty just from the way he acted, but he didn't expect king. and soo-won certainly doesn't need to feel the shock to know it's there, as his face drops at this reveal. ]
reaction is great? soo-won seems deeply amused, like he thinks it's wonderful how surprised zuko is, and he just laughs a little bit at it.]
Currently serving as the king for the country of Kouka. A pleasure to make your proper acquaintance. So you can call me Soo-won, when it's just the two of us - Won is typically the merchant cover that I use when I'm inspecting the kingdom undercover.
[HE HAS A WHOLE SYSTEM FOR HOW TO HANDLE THE GOVERNANCE IN HIS OWN HANDS BUT.]
I'm still me - so you needn't treat me any differently.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
week 2, post-execution
.... Zuko.
I wanted to apologize.
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Won.
[ .... ]
For what? You didn't do anything wrong.
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soo-won is going to blink once he notes the mutedness of his emotions but.
focusing on one thing at a time]
... I shocked you yesterday, even though I know you were just trying to help wake Dorothy. It wasn't right of me to pass judgment so quickly.
[and he'll bow his head at that]
So I wanted to say sorry for it.
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[ honestly zuko is legit perplexed that he's apologizing for this ]
It's... fine?
[ taako and lup both shocked him for saying their hair is brown ]
It was a pretty crazy trial.
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Ah... it was - but even still, my behavior stuck with me so I wanted to at least acknowledge it. I'm glad you aren't unhappy with me.
[that said.]
... it seems like you're carrying a few other sentiments instead.
[based on emotionshare - and he'll feel soo-won's own concern at that]
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[ the confusion is morphing into vague amusement, but it's shortlived bc he's a serious and moody bitch today. ]
You know Dorothy better than I do. Do you think it was her?
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.... I don't know. When I asked her, she told me earnestly that it wasn't her. I plan on checking again tomorrow just to see but...
If it wasn't her, I'd still like to know who it was - even if only to ask them why.
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I want to know the same thing.
[ a beat. ]
What do you mean by checking again tomorrow?
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So I'll ask her again tomorrow, when her spirits might be better and her heart stronger.
It's not as though I truly doubt her original answer but....
[he tilts her head]
I suppose I just want to be sure. I'm worried that those who have committed murders here... they might be worried that they'd only be attacked again after they escaped execution.
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[ zuko def just went and hassled her. ]
I want to be sure, too. Not to... attack her or anything, but just to know.
[ he's sincere on that, but soo-won probably doesn't need emotion share to tell, since zuko is a pretty straightforward guy in general ]
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coupled with a little whisper of sadness.]
What do you think of all this, Zuko?
It's difficult, isn't it? I can't help but wonder if anything we truly do in this situation is right or wrong - not when people shouldn't be losing memories in the first place, or in situations where they have to save others by killing.
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The whole situation is messed up and wrong. [ especially if that nova-splintering business is what's happening.... if everyone is at risk, isn't the best thing to do what shima did? but then, they still have to vote on the culprit..... ] I don't think there's any right way to go around it..... the best thing we can do is try to get to the root of all this before we all die.
[ so optimistic ]
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.... I'm in agreement.
[and he seems almost relieved to hear zuko's words but also - ]
.... it must be frustrating to you as well, given the lack of information that we have at present. There's still plenty of mysteries and uncertainties going about.
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Extremely frustrating.
[ which soo-won can feel. ] ... I do believe the nova-splintering theory, but... that doesn't account for everything. Like Raven's death.
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[and he sighs faintly at that]
And given the use of the sleeping drug in order to make him easier to kill, it doesn't feel as though it could've been done in self-defense. So there's a chance that someone simply had a memory they deeply wanted back as soon as possible.
[a beat]
By the by, did you regain a memory today, Zuko? Without having to harm another.
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[ in a way, losing memories is plenty of motive. so is winning. but still. he feels like he's missing something. ]
I didn't. Did you?
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I did.
[a beat]
And I'm sorry but I think that narrows down your team to fewer options for me - but I don't intend on forcing you to confess anything. But I think that once we pass certain nova thresholds, we start regaining things.
As of today, everyone should've gotten back one item from home - and a few teams also got a memory.
[another beat.]
And I have something else that I wanted to talk to you about.
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So you're one of the winning teams. That's what I thought.
[ there's a bit of tangible relief on zuko's end, too. that soo-won already knows ]
What is it?
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[as for the next question there's the slightest sense of trepidation - hesitation, before he sighs and relents.]
.... Hilda told me that you were looking for me.
As the person who Sharon attacked last Thursday.
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[ it's so fleeting, though, because what soo-won says next takes him by pretty strong surprise -- ]
[ -- and becomes relief. equally strong relief. and gratefulness? probably not the reaction he expected. ]
Thank you for trusting me.
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and those are emotions that soo-won can't catch quickly enough - because he is surprisingly honest, he's just also someone who would rather omit things to prevent them from coming to light. but this happens so fast that there's no way he could hide them.
the surprise and - despite zuko's own response, there is the twist of guilt. because he still stole a life, and so perhaps the relief fits oddly with him. he is still a killer, and he will not hide from that fact.
but more so there is -
remarkable fondness, the gentlest amusement, and the settling of his emotions into something pleasantly surprised, warm and kind]
.... she told me that someone was looking for me and I was hesitant, in truth, but -
.... you already defended me during the trial. I thought that letting you know this much was the least I could do.
I ask, of course, that you keep this knowledge to yourself.
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[ also? it's selfish, but soo-won's alive. he's standing here. that, alone... ]
It means a lot. And.... this is one secret I'll be glad to keep.
[ dancing around teams and rules is annoying, but he's genuine in his desire to protect soo-won. he never wanted a target on sharon's killer's back. he never had any intention of spreading it. he just wanted to know the truth ]
What happened that night?
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... everyone around me one by one fell asleep, Goat included. After ensuring that there was no way to wake them, Sharon came to approach me with some tea. I declined to take any, in case of poison.
... she explained to me what she'd lost as memory. She'd started telling me the beginning of a story on Monday - and then she finished it that evening. [there is the slightest test of sadness that escapes him - a grief. not for himself, but for sharon.] I believe she was under the impression that I would understand why she felt the need to take a life.
I did... and I do.
[even when he speaks, it's devoid of anger. there is no grudge, no ill will.]
... but you'd said it yourself. I'd already died twice that day. I didn't wish to make it a third. I told her my own reasons for why I can't die - oh, I'm a king, by the way - and she instead chose to challenge me to a duel.
[i will allow the story to pause bc he just dropped a lot of information all at once]
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[ he listens quietly to this explanation -- though he didn't know sharon well, this all slots in with his initial thoughts. it's almost comforting to know that both of them acted with honor (tm) throughout this exchange, and -- ]
A king!?
[ he had the feeling soo-won was some kind of royalty just from the way he acted, but he didn't expect king. and soo-won certainly doesn't need to feel the shock to know it's there, as his face drops at this reveal. ]
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reaction is great? soo-won seems deeply amused, like he thinks it's wonderful how surprised zuko is, and he just laughs a little bit at it.]
Currently serving as the king for the country of Kouka. A pleasure to make your proper acquaintance. So you can call me Soo-won, when it's just the two of us - Won is typically the merchant cover that I use when I'm inspecting the kingdom undercover.
[HE HAS A WHOLE SYSTEM FOR HOW TO HANDLE THE GOVERNANCE IN HIS OWN HANDS BUT.]
I'm still me - so you needn't treat me any differently.
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