[her voice is quiet, and honestly a little embarrassed—caught out when she least wants to be. happy for the company, but chagrinned it needed to come at all. wasn't she supposed to have grown past this, by now?]
[he nods along, and lets his gaze rest on the teacup instead of directly at her]
Mm... I suppose that's true.
But I wanted to.
[he wanted to see her, and check on her, after everything that happened. he doesn't seem bothered by it at all, even if took a little longer than finding everyone else]
We don't have to talk about anything you don't wish to... or talk at all.
elsa takes another sip, wrapping both hands around the cup, clasping her fingers together as she does. it's another long few moments, and several sips, before she manages to find her voice.]
I don't... know what to do.
Everything's been happening so fast. I'm not--I can't--
[she goes mum again, letting her breath leave in a sigh as she rolls around the words in her head.]
Everyone is in the same situation. This is when I should be... helping. But I... [she exhales, a sharp and exasperated sound.] I freeze up. When I think about all this... this, death, people dying, I think about--
[and elsa falls silent again, shaking her head.]
I'm sorry. I've barely known you a week. You shouldn't have to listen to this.
[ . . . . he listens, even as he sips tea, and he'll gradually turn to face her as she speaks. he's not sure if it's this week and it's odd affection, or this worry that she's going to work herself up so intensely that she'll fly away -
but he takes his hand closest to her and lets it float between them, palm up.]
You can keep going, if you have more to say. You can apologize, if you want to... but I don't mind, so I don't know if there's much point to it.
None of us should be in this situation - it's alright, if you're overwhelmed. If you're scared. You don't have to feel ashamed of it.
It's okay, to not know what to do the first time you encounter something of this stature.
for the first time in the past week, she's genuinely glad her ice powers are off. she'd probably be going haywire, at this point—and the fact of the matter makes her cringe.]
I...
[staring at the hand in front of her, she looses one of her own from around the teacup—and hesitantly places it in soo-won's.
the warmth is... nice. like when they danced. she wraps her fingers around his.]
I am scared.
[and she drops her head, staring down into the tea.]
My reticence... my inaction. I'm not the first, nor will I be the last person to see death in front of my eyes—my reaction is... it isn't right. I should have done more to help. Yesterday. Today. But instead, I either ran—or couldn't move at all.
I was right to abdicate the throne to Anna. I know... if she were here, she would have charged right into everything immediately.
[when she is willing to lend her hand to him, he realizes it's something precious. elsa is someone who shies away from touch - and so he wasn't sure if this would've been too much.
but he takes his hand in hers, and holds on gently. she can pull away whenever she'd like.]
.... sometimes charging isn't the right answer. Bucky did that today - and accused Rufus. Virid drew his sword because he felt that acting first meant success.
I don't wish for anyone to be here, least of all your beloved sister - but I don't think you're weak, for being uncertain.
The truth is that everyone needs time to address panic, and everyone needs different amounts of time depending on their previous experience.
If you wish to change, there's still time to do so, and I'm sure that you can.
But you needn't be angry at yourself for not being prepared for something that never should've happened. You're human, Elsa.
And that's a wonderful thing, even if it's painful right now.
...I wonder. [she says it quietly, nearly missable in a breath—and doesn't clarify further as to which part that's directed towards.
everything he's saying, though... makes plenty of sense. in fact, some small part of her already knew all of that. so... maybe she just needed to hear it out loud, from someone else. an assurance that she wasn't everything she feared she was.
maybe that was progress, of a kind.
elsa looks up, smiling wanly at soo-won.]
Thank you. For saying all that. I... I've never been good with death.
... which is to say - you haven't been in situation where you've had to be good with death, right? Even if you don't feel prepared now... for that, I'm glad.
[because life is precious. it's important to cherish, and to be able to live an existence where death is minimal...
to someone like soo-won, it nearly sounds idyllic.
but he is so sincerely happy for her. he offers a smile, soft and reassuring even as he bows his head closer to hers and lowers his voice - ]
I'll keep your secrets. Don't worry.
[before leaning back and giving her hand a gentle squeeze]
And I'll be right here until you're ready to let go or walk on your own.
Yes, I... I suppose that's true. Save for a few... incidents, [caused, uh, almost entirely by her??] we've been... at peace for a long time. You're right—I should be thankful for that.
[...
secrets, huh.
she keeps holding his hand, even as she considers letting it go. but perhaps she's just not quite ready, yet.]
You're very wise for your age, Won. I wish I could do something for you in return.
[elsa shakes her head, but finishes off her tea, putting the cup down to her side.]
It's okay. I'm... not sure I know how to mourn correctly in the first place. [she exhales another sharp breath, a pained huff of amused self-derision.] I didn't even attend--oh.
[with the hand that isn't holding soo-won's, she touches the corner of her eye lightly with a finger, and stares at it. oh, yeah, she's definitely crying. and it's as if seeing proof of it sets off the whole waterworks, pooling, then falling in rivulets silently down her face.
--and she turns away, gently combing her hair over the side of her face closest to soo-won.]
W-Would you happen to have a... [her breath catches, stuttering on the tears.] ...a handkerchief, or...? [she's doing what she can with her uno hand... as she has still not let go of his with her other.]
soo-won looks marginally surprised - though not upset. he watches the way that she tries to shrink away, before pausing for a moment. there's something distantly nostalgic to this, and perhaps that what gets him to move next.
he doesn't pull his hand away from hers, but instead shifts so that he can put his tea down, and then unlatch the cloak he wears on his shoulders with his free hand. he takes the draping cloth of it and instead loops it around elsa's shoulders, letting the hood of it rest atop her head, falling over her eyes if she wishes to hide her face.
with a gentle pull through their joined hands, and a nudge from his other, he encourages her in close to him, to lean on him - cry on him if she has to]
... this is all I have, I'm afraid.
[a cloak, a hand to hold, and an open heart. he keeps his voice soft and gentle]
[now, it's elsa's turn to be surprised. she makes a quiet little noise indicating as much when soo-won gently drapes his cloak over her—but doesn't resist, doesn't pull away. it's a truly sweet gesture—and when he nudges her towards him, she leans in, resting her forehead on his shoulder, the cloak's hood essentially hiding her face.
if it was like this, then... just for now.
her shoulders shudder, breathing hitching and catching, and the tears flow more rapidly, soaking into soo-won's sleeve. I'll have to apologize for that later.
but just for now, she could let herself let go enough to grieve.]
but he knows as well as anyone that there aren't any answers that you can give a person - and when he was a child, he would pretend that he could even replace the person who was lost. 'i'll be your mother now,' he'd said. he's grown now, and knows that's silly. some people can't be replaced.
what he can do is sit with people when they're rattled, stay with them while they're scared, and remain steadfast to help them find their way. he holds onto elsa's hand, gently lacing their fingers together if it'll help her feel like she's got someone to hold onto.
his other hand rests atop her head, over the cloak, offering reassuring, comforting strokes even as she cries
[it takes longer than elsa expects to get it all out—what else, exactly, had she been holding?—but shorter perhaps than it really should.
at last, her breathing begins to even out, her shoulders falling finally, and any sniffling, hiccoughing, stops entirely. but she doesn't let go of soo-won's hand, fingers entwined together as they are.
on the contrary, she brings her other arm up, tucking it against her and her companion's bodies, all but nestling into his side completely. with the dark of the cloak, and the warmth of his body, it's a very comfortable arrangement. it feels... safe. and right now, it feels as though that's what she needs more than anything else.
maybe too comfortable, though—because only a minute or so later, her breath smooths out into something much quieter—and her hand, holding on as it is, relaxes its grip ever-so-subtly.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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she takes a sip.]
...You didn't have to.
[her voice is quiet, and honestly a little embarrassed—caught out when she least wants to be. happy for the company, but chagrinned it needed to come at all. wasn't she supposed to have grown past this, by now?]
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Mm... I suppose that's true.
But I wanted to.
[he wanted to see her, and check on her, after everything that happened. he doesn't seem bothered by it at all, even if took a little longer than finding everyone else]
We don't have to talk about anything you don't wish to... or talk at all.
But I'd rather you not endure all this alone.
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elsa takes another sip, wrapping both hands around the cup, clasping her fingers together as she does. it's another long few moments, and several sips, before she manages to find her voice.]
I don't... know what to do.
Everything's been happening so fast. I'm not--I can't--
[she goes mum again, letting her breath leave in a sigh as she rolls around the words in her head.]
Everyone is in the same situation. This is when I should be... helping. But I... [she exhales, a sharp and exasperated sound.] I freeze up. When I think about all this... this, death, people dying, I think about--
[and elsa falls silent again, shaking her head.]
I'm sorry. I've barely known you a week. You shouldn't have to listen to this.
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but he takes his hand closest to her and lets it float between them, palm up.]
You can keep going, if you have more to say. You can apologize, if you want to... but I don't mind, so I don't know if there's much point to it.
None of us should be in this situation - it's alright, if you're overwhelmed. If you're scared. You don't have to feel ashamed of it.
It's okay, to not know what to do the first time you encounter something of this stature.
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for the first time in the past week, she's genuinely glad her ice powers are off. she'd probably be going haywire, at this point—and the fact of the matter makes her cringe.]
I...
[staring at the hand in front of her, she looses one of her own from around the teacup—and hesitantly places it in soo-won's.
the warmth is... nice. like when they danced. she wraps her fingers around his.]
I am scared.
[and she drops her head, staring down into the tea.]
My reticence... my inaction. I'm not the first, nor will I be the last person to see death in front of my eyes—my reaction is... it isn't right. I should have done more to help. Yesterday. Today. But instead, I either ran—or couldn't move at all.
I was right to abdicate the throne to Anna. I know... if she were here, she would have charged right into everything immediately.
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but he takes his hand in hers, and holds on gently. she can pull away whenever she'd like.]
.... sometimes charging isn't the right answer. Bucky did that today - and accused Rufus. Virid drew his sword because he felt that acting first meant success.
I don't wish for anyone to be here, least of all your beloved sister - but I don't think you're weak, for being uncertain.
The truth is that everyone needs time to address panic, and everyone needs different amounts of time depending on their previous experience.
If you wish to change, there's still time to do so, and I'm sure that you can.
But you needn't be angry at yourself for not being prepared for something that never should've happened. You're human, Elsa.
And that's a wonderful thing, even if it's painful right now.
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everything he's saying, though... makes plenty of sense. in fact, some small part of her already knew all of that. so... maybe she just needed to hear it out loud, from someone else. an assurance that she wasn't everything she feared she was.
maybe that was progress, of a kind.
elsa looks up, smiling wanly at soo-won.]
Thank you. For saying all that. I... I've never been good with death.
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[because life is precious. it's important to cherish, and to be able to live an existence where death is minimal...
to someone like soo-won, it nearly sounds idyllic.
but he is so sincerely happy for her. he offers a smile, soft and reassuring even as he bows his head closer to hers and lowers his voice - ]
I'll keep your secrets. Don't worry.
[before leaning back and giving her hand a gentle squeeze]
And I'll be right here until you're ready to let go or walk on your own.
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[...
secrets, huh.
she keeps holding his hand, even as she considers letting it go. but perhaps she's just not quite ready, yet.]
You're very wise for your age, Won. I wish I could do something for you in return.
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I'm a rather simple person, I'm afraid. I like it when the people I like have a fair chance to be happy.
[and elsa being on the brink of a breakdown didn't seem like... that.]
... but death is always difficult - and I don't mean to rush your mourning, either. It's alright if you need time to sit with it - with everything.
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It's okay. I'm... not sure I know how to mourn correctly in the first place. [she exhales another sharp breath, a pained huff of amused self-derision.] I didn't even attend--oh.
[with the hand that isn't holding soo-won's, she touches the corner of her eye lightly with a finger, and stares at it. oh, yeah, she's definitely crying. and it's as if seeing proof of it sets off the whole waterworks, pooling, then falling in rivulets silently down her face.
--and she turns away, gently combing her hair over the side of her face closest to soo-won.]
W-Would you happen to have a... [her breath catches, stuttering on the tears.] ...a handkerchief, or...? [she's doing what she can with her uno hand... as she has still not let go of his with her other.]
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soo-won looks marginally surprised - though not upset. he watches the way that she tries to shrink away, before pausing for a moment. there's something distantly nostalgic to this, and perhaps that what gets him to move next.
he doesn't pull his hand away from hers, but instead shifts so that he can put his tea down, and then unlatch the cloak he wears on his shoulders with his free hand. he takes the draping cloth of it and instead loops it around elsa's shoulders, letting the hood of it rest atop her head, falling over her eyes if she wishes to hide her face.
with a gentle pull through their joined hands, and a nudge from his other, he encourages her in close to him, to lean on him - cry on him if she has to]
... this is all I have, I'm afraid.
[a cloak, a hand to hold, and an open heart. he keeps his voice soft and gentle]
You can cry. No one will see, and I won't tell.
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if it was like this, then... just for now.
her shoulders shudder, breathing hitching and catching, and the tears flow more rapidly, soaking into soo-won's sleeve. I'll have to apologize for that later.
but just for now, she could let herself let go enough to grieve.]
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but he knows as well as anyone that there aren't any answers that you can give a person - and when he was a child, he would pretend that he could even replace the person who was lost. 'i'll be your mother now,' he'd said. he's grown now, and knows that's silly. some people can't be replaced.
what he can do is sit with people when they're rattled, stay with them while they're scared, and remain steadfast to help them find their way. he holds onto elsa's hand, gently lacing their fingers together if it'll help her feel like she's got someone to hold onto.
his other hand rests atop her head, over the cloak, offering reassuring, comforting strokes even as she cries
he'll wait through it, however long it takes]
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at last, her breathing begins to even out, her shoulders falling finally, and any sniffling, hiccoughing, stops entirely. but she doesn't let go of soo-won's hand, fingers entwined together as they are.
on the contrary, she brings her other arm up, tucking it against her and her companion's bodies, all but nestling into his side completely. with the dark of the cloak, and the warmth of his body, it's a very comfortable arrangement. it feels... safe. and right now, it feels as though that's what she needs more than anything else.
maybe too comfortable, though—because only a minute or so later, her breath smooths out into something much quieter—and her hand, holding on as it is, relaxes its grip ever-so-subtly.
...she's asleep on him. whoops.]