No, you don't have to, because it won't matter. The - umbrella, I mean, that memory. I can't - grasp it. [ she says. she spits the word out like they're a curse. ] Taako and I figured it out.
He said I died, but that's not true. It doesn't feel true.
he - considers that thoughtfully. so in this place, they took some of soo-won's good memories and in comparison stole something from lup that could arguably be considered bad.
and yet.
does that make it any less important? he doesn't think so.]
.... I'm afraid it's true.
[soft, just so that she knows that she'd confessed it to someone else]
[ she says, forcefully, bringing her hands to her chest. it's true. she can't hold onto it, it feels like mush. ]
He forgot me. Not here, at home. I don't remember that. I remember - I had a responsibility to fix something I broke. So I left, and then nothing. But he said I died and he forgot me and they took that fact away from me. I can't remember that he forgot.
[ . . . . . he'll rise but - he knows that he can't hold onto her sleeve or her hand at the moment, given the way that the shock seems to transfer. but he'll move closer to her, leaving his palms up hovering in front of her. they can't touch but -
he hopes the sentiment means anything at all.]
.... no matter how difficult a memory may be, or how upsetting - it doesn't change the fact that it's painful to lose it.
And you want every moment with him, both good and bad.
[ she pulls in a bit on herself. takes a deep breath. he can't hold onto her and she doesn't think she can take a shock, accident or no, not without losing her mind over it. she doesn't usually feel fragile, but her talk with taako left her unsettled in a way she hasn't experienced in a long time. ]
I forgot - I forgot that he forgot me. [ she says, with some difficulty, like she's trying to remind herself. ] There's not even a moment to - to know.
[ there's anger, mostly. simmering anger, an active volcano in her chest, ready to let loose at any time. upset, unease, distance - she's losing bits of her twin, and she's afraid of what will happen if she loses all of him. ]
The moment exists. [and his voice is soft even as he remains by her - and he sits with all of her emotions, the rush of them. he takes them so that he can shoulder them with her, and doesn't hold back on his own. his relative calm in comparison, the way that he feels for her - fondness and concern and care because even when she's having a bad day, she still matters so much to him.]
It's out of grasp at the moment, but it does exist. Taako has it, and I'll hold onto it too, until it can be returned to you.
It still matters, and you'll remember it again, in time.
[ they have it. taako might lose it, but - soo-won won't. soo-won can hold onto it and they won't take it from him. that makes sense. that eases her shoulders a little. even when she's having a bad day, she matters to him, she can feel it, and there's a quiet bit of relief.
it's so easy to fall into a routine. to close off because nobody can be trusted. it's always jokes, it's always big grins and barbed words, but... ]
It's getting scarier. [ she says, with a little laugh. ] But. Okay.
[he sits with her in her fear, in her anguish, and her frustration. he doesn't shy away from it, and he remains. in response to her words there is only a steadfast determination to see to her happiness and her interests, to protect her in the ways that he is able.
he's determined.]
.... I'll hold onto your trust, and I'll keep it. If you're scared, I'll sit with you until you're not anymore, or until it feels a little less.
You don't have to be anyone but Lup with me, alright? So it's okay. We'll figure it out together.
[ there's a long pause, and then she rubs at her face with a little laugh. ]
Don't say that, or I'll end up forgetting you too. [ because she knows she trusted the people on the ship, and - they're gone. whoever they were. she can feel the emptiness there. ]
[ it's the kind of sentiment that she can't help but want to hear. never actually being lost from somebody - finding them again and again and again. she can't remember why, can't grasp it, but the idea of being forgotten is so intensely terrifying. she doesn't want to deal with the thought. so she doesn't. ]
You're killing me. [ she says, with a little wobbly sniff. but there's a sincerity in her feelings, a quiet little please - don't take this from her. ]
Which I realize is really just, bad word choice, but I'm sticking to it. [ she jokes, pulling her hair over her shoulder to fiddle with it. ]
[that manages to make him laugh just a bit, amused at her choice of words - but it doesn't make him any less steady. he'll remain at her side until circumstances force him away. but even then, it won't stop him from trying to return to her.
soo-won is often needed in different roles - as a king, as a leader, as a guide - but every once in a while he realizes that someone might need him as a friend.
so he'll try to match that too.
the way that he bows his head toward her is gentle and brief, letting his forehead fall close to hers without actually touching]
[ she really, really wants to press her forehead against his, but she doesn't. she hates this week's effect, it sucks. he can probably feel how frustrated and needy she feels in that regard.
she's quiet for a moment, just letting it sink in.
and then: ] Okay. Enough about me. Did you want to hear what Wolf had to say?
Wolf is, uh - they're Wolf. So take this with a grain of salt, but they basically said people who get removed are dead and aren't coming back. No zombies, no liches, no nothing. They said the wishes should work, no hidden clauses or anything. Voting correctly gets us nova, Cater was probably on Wolf team, uhh...
[ she tilts her head back. ] And I guess Wolf is going to teach me how to fight, so that's rad.
Then no one on Wolf killed this weekend - because Goat told me that the souls of the dead have been kept somewhere else, and there's a chance that we might be able to bring them back. Though, of course, there could be a price to that.
And Goat told me that your wish would only work to affect things outside of the Realm - so we wouldn't be able to wish for the dead to be revived even if you won.
[that's the information
but also
pouting]
You get to fight with Wolf? I'm almost jealous....
I'm not sure what the price is - but it does seem like Wolf might not have been privy to this information before now. Tell me, was your PHS icon flashing the first Sunday after Virid was killed?
[it seems like there's a reason why he's asking]
And I don't, but I want to get to know Wolf better! [HE'S HAK-CODED] Even I enjoy some friendly sparring or tests of skill every now and then...
Because the indicator will flash when the Leader regains a memory, which I believe is tied with committing murder. It's a nudge to go speak with them. So I wonder if anyone's PHS flashed during the first weekend.
[so that's something - though he smiles]
Maybe I'll get to be his second favorite if I ask nicely enough. I suggested we were friends twice and he only ignored me instead of rejecting it outright! I think I'm getting somewhere.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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No, you don't have to, because it won't matter. The - umbrella, I mean, that memory. I can't - grasp it. [ she says. she spits the word out like they're a curse. ] Taako and I figured it out.
He said I died, but that's not true. It doesn't feel true.
no subject
he - considers that thoughtfully. so in this place, they took some of soo-won's good memories and in comparison stole something from lup that could arguably be considered bad.
and yet.
does that make it any less important? he doesn't think so.]
.... I'm afraid it's true.
[soft, just so that she knows that she'd confessed it to someone else]
.... how are you feeling about it?
[he asks this time, instead of stepping forward]
no subject
[ she says, forcefully, bringing her hands to her chest. it's true. she can't hold onto it, it feels like mush. ]
He forgot me. Not here, at home. I don't remember that. I remember - I had a responsibility to fix something I broke. So I left, and then nothing. But he said I died and he forgot me and they took that fact away from me. I can't remember that he forgot.
no subject
he hopes the sentiment means anything at all.]
.... no matter how difficult a memory may be, or how upsetting - it doesn't change the fact that it's painful to lose it.
And you want every moment with him, both good and bad.
no subject
I forgot - I forgot that he forgot me. [ she says, with some difficulty, like she's trying to remind herself. ] There's not even a moment to - to know.
[ there's anger, mostly. simmering anger, an active volcano in her chest, ready to let loose at any time. upset, unease, distance - she's losing bits of her twin, and she's afraid of what will happen if she loses all of him. ]
Fuck. I can't think straight.
no subject
The moment exists. [and his voice is soft even as he remains by her - and he sits with all of her emotions, the rush of them. he takes them so that he can shoulder them with her, and doesn't hold back on his own. his relative calm in comparison, the way that he feels for her - fondness and concern and care because even when she's having a bad day, she still matters so much to him.]
It's out of grasp at the moment, but it does exist. Taako has it, and I'll hold onto it too, until it can be returned to you.
It still matters, and you'll remember it again, in time.
no subject
it's so easy to fall into a routine. to close off because nobody can be trusted. it's always jokes, it's always big grins and barbed words, but... ]
It's getting scarier. [ she says, with a little laugh. ] But. Okay.
I trust you.
no subject
he's determined.]
.... I'll hold onto your trust, and I'll keep it. If you're scared, I'll sit with you until you're not anymore, or until it feels a little less.
You don't have to be anyone but Lup with me, alright? So it's okay. We'll figure it out together.
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Don't say that, or I'll end up forgetting you too. [ because she knows she trusted the people on the ship, and - they're gone. whoever they were. she can feel the emptiness there. ]
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Then we'll meet again.
And if you forget me again, we'll meet once more after that.
And again, and again, and again until we've met a thousand different times and you've given me two thousand different names.
Because we're best friends, so we'll always find each other, and I won't leave you alone.
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You're killing me. [ she says, with a little wobbly sniff. but there's a sincerity in her feelings, a quiet little please - don't take this from her. ]
Which I realize is really just, bad word choice, but I'm sticking to it. [ she jokes, pulling her hair over her shoulder to fiddle with it. ]
no subject
soo-won is often needed in different roles - as a king, as a leader, as a guide - but every once in a while he realizes that someone might need him as a friend.
so he'll try to match that too.
the way that he bows his head toward her is gentle and brief, letting his forehead fall close to hers without actually touching]
I understand the sentiment.
[and that's enough]
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she's quiet for a moment, just letting it sink in.
and then: ] Okay. Enough about me. Did you want to hear what Wolf had to say?
no subject
If you wouldn't mind.
I can report back to you about everything else as well.
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Wolf is, uh - they're Wolf. So take this with a grain of salt, but they basically said people who get removed are dead and aren't coming back. No zombies, no liches, no nothing. They said the wishes should work, no hidden clauses or anything. Voting correctly gets us nova, Cater was probably on Wolf team, uhh...
[ she tilts her head back. ] And I guess Wolf is going to teach me how to fight, so that's rad.
no subject
Then no one on Wolf killed this weekend - because Goat told me that the souls of the dead have been kept somewhere else, and there's a chance that we might be able to bring them back. Though, of course, there could be a price to that.
And Goat told me that your wish would only work to affect things outside of the Realm - so we wouldn't be able to wish for the dead to be revived even if you won.
[that's the information
but also
pouting]
You get to fight with Wolf? I'm almost jealous....
[SOO-WON your STAB WOUND]
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Price, like... [ she wrinkles her nose. she hates the thought of that. ] Fuck. That puts a dent in my plans.
[ as far as wolf goes, she just snorts. ] You don't need to be fighting with anybody, my dude.
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[it seems like there's a reason why he's asking]
And I don't, but I want to get to know Wolf better! [HE'S HAK-CODED] Even I enjoy some friendly sparring or tests of skill every now and then...
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No? Why. [ ... ] And you can ask them, but I'm their favorite so I get rights.
[ lup insisting that you're wolf's favorite does not make you wolf's favorite ]
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[so that's something - though he smiles]
Maybe I'll get to be his second favorite if I ask nicely enough. I suggested we were friends twice and he only ignored me instead of rejecting it outright! I think I'm getting somewhere.