... that wasn't my intent. [which he'd already said, but - ] But I can also see why you'd think of it that way.
[ . . . ]
What I said afterward - when I tried to make it so that you wouldn't have to help me... it was because I didn't want to put you in that position again, where you might think I only want the information you might give me.
I want to work with you, and you have my trust - but I don't want you to feel obligated to tell me anything either.
Even if all we did was make apricot cookies for the rest of our time here.... if it is enough to make you happy, then that is enough for me too.
I know - rationally, buddy, I know it wasn't your intent.
[ but her paranoia says otherwise.
the thing about evocation magic, about her specialty - it's raw, and it's volatile, and if you don't use it right, it burns everybody around you. evocationists learn spell sculpting early on; they figure out how to only hurt the things they want to hurt before they move onto the fireballs and destruction.
but that just makes it easier for them to channel it in one direction, especially when the world around them is kicking dirt in their face. ]
I think, um. [ she says, after a moment. ] I think for right now, until Friday, we don't do information trading. So I can prove to myself that you're telling me the truth. And so I can, uh. I can come to terms with what's going on with Taako.
because soo-won is ultimately someone who will make hard choices if he believes in a net sum benefit, and he cannot truly apologize for what he's done and mean it. yet at the same time, even if it would've happened regardless, he cannot deny the feelings that he inspired in lup.
that, he can apologize for, and try to amend and avoid in the future. because at the end of the day, even if it would be easier for him to stop caring about the people around him - he can't.
he'll continue to run his fingers through her hair.]
And if you need longer, you can tell me so. However long it takes, I won't mind.
[ she takes it, and holds it, and this time there's less animosity. ]
You get, uh - you get that it's... it's worry, though. [ her grip tightens. ] God, I need to stop making friends with humans. You all shave years off my fuckin' lifespan.
[and his voice is soft, then, as if touched that she bothers to worry about him at all. he gives her hand a gentle squeeze]
.... I'm not used to being worried over - so I'm sorry. I know that... I've proven to be rather bad at it, and this probably doesn't seem any different.
[ . . . ]
But I do appreciate it. Even if I don't know what to do with it.
he'll make sure that the cup is in her hands before he lets go, just because a sudden coffee disaster is literally the last thing that they need but.
. . . . despite everything, his expression softens, and he smiles.]
... I know that one.
A perfect day. Round one, double carb breakfast, going back to sleep afterward. Round two, shooting everyone on the team with water guns. Round three, blow up a "Dee-Em-Vee."
Round four - roast turkey, Fantasy Grey Goose.
Taako told me about it, a few weeks ago when he was very - um. Tall? No... High.
[ she smiles a little. ] I didn't know that meant as much to him.
He gave it to me so that I could have something to hold onto as a lich. [ ... ] I think, uh. I think that's the only thing that's keeping me stable right now. I've lost just about everything else.
Which would explain why I keep, um. Losing my temper.
.... every single moment he spent with you meant so much to him, Ru. I'll keep an eye on him for you, until you can do it again yourself but - there's no way to doubt how much the two of you love each other.
[he'll move to sit besides her then, letting their shoulders brush as he looks down at her]
You've lost many things - very suddenly and in quick succession. It's alright if you need to find your footing again.
We might need to see how many happy memories we can create to make up for it a little.
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no subject
... that wasn't my intent. [which he'd already said, but - ] But I can also see why you'd think of it that way.
[ . . . ]
What I said afterward - when I tried to make it so that you wouldn't have to help me... it was because I didn't want to put you in that position again, where you might think I only want the information you might give me.
I want to work with you, and you have my trust - but I don't want you to feel obligated to tell me anything either.
Even if all we did was make apricot cookies for the rest of our time here.... if it is enough to make you happy, then that is enough for me too.
no subject
[ but her paranoia says otherwise.
the thing about evocation magic, about her specialty - it's raw, and it's volatile, and if you don't use it right, it burns everybody around you. evocationists learn spell sculpting early on; they figure out how to only hurt the things they want to hurt before they move onto the fireballs and destruction.
but that just makes it easier for them to channel it in one direction, especially when the world around them is kicking dirt in their face. ]
I think, um. [ she says, after a moment. ] I think for right now, until Friday, we don't do information trading. So I can prove to myself that you're telling me the truth. And so I can, uh. I can come to terms with what's going on with Taako.
Does that sound fair?
no subject
[and his agreement comes so, so easily.
because soo-won is ultimately someone who will make hard choices if he believes in a net sum benefit, and he cannot truly apologize for what he's done and mean it. yet at the same time, even if it would've happened regardless, he cannot deny the feelings that he inspired in lup.
that, he can apologize for, and try to amend and avoid in the future. because at the end of the day, even if it would be easier for him to stop caring about the people around him - he can't.
he'll continue to run his fingers through her hair.]
And if you need longer, you can tell me so. However long it takes, I won't mind.
no subject
[ a long pause. ]
Sorry I gave you attitude.
no subject
[just as easily.
and he'll hold his hand out to her, palm up, in case she'd like to take it]
After what you've been through today, it's understandable. I'm sorry I gave you more to worry about, on top of everything else.
no subject
You get, uh - you get that it's... it's worry, though. [ her grip tightens. ] God, I need to stop making friends with humans. You all shave years off my fuckin' lifespan.
no subject
[and his voice is soft, then, as if touched that she bothers to worry about him at all. he gives her hand a gentle squeeze]
.... I'm not used to being worried over - so I'm sorry. I know that... I've proven to be rather bad at it, and this probably doesn't seem any different.
[ . . . ]
But I do appreciate it. Even if I don't know what to do with it.
no subject
Well! That makes two of us, huh?
[ neither of them know what to do with worry ]
no subject
[but. if she's laughing then he'll just give her a smile instead, finally reaching back for the coffee, gOD HER COFFEE]
... you can let me know if it's gotten too cold.
no subject
but as she's reaching, she's going to pop a bubble, and he's going to get one of her memories! ]
no subject
he'll make sure that the cup is in her hands before he lets go, just because a sudden coffee disaster is literally the last thing that they need but.
. . . . despite everything, his expression softens, and he smiles.]
... I know that one.
A perfect day. Round one, double carb breakfast, going back to sleep afterward. Round two, shooting everyone on the team with water guns. Round three, blow up a "Dee-Em-Vee."
Round four - roast turkey, Fantasy Grey Goose.
Taako told me about it, a few weeks ago when he was very - um. Tall? No... High.
[okay but the important part - ]
He asked me to hold onto it for him.
no subject
He gave it to me so that I could have something to hold onto as a lich. [ ... ] I think, uh. I think that's the only thing that's keeping me stable right now. I've lost just about everything else.
Which would explain why I keep, um. Losing my temper.
no subject
[he'll move to sit besides her then, letting their shoulders brush as he looks down at her]
You've lost many things - very suddenly and in quick succession. It's alright if you need to find your footing again.
We might need to see how many happy memories we can create to make up for it a little.