[ xie lian greets him properly, a bow with his fist pressed to his hand. ] I'm alright - it's nice to have some sort of information, though there's quite a bit left to process.
Mm! My realm hardly even has magic - so it makes it a bit difficult to parse. Even still, I cannot find alternative reasonings, which make it difficult to deny.
[he'll be honest about it]
And it makes you think on the nature of memories, does it not?
People are made up of many different components. We carry our memories with us, the influences of our beloved people, and our heritages of blood. [his gaze flicks up to the hawk] What parts can you forget until you become someone that is no longer yourself?
Or will that moment never come, because regardless of memory, the nature of a person is always the same?
The me of right now will help without caring for whatever wish I'm promised - because the universe is at stake, and that is reason enough. Will the me of two weeks from now, if my memories are truly taken, be a different man?
[he turns back to xie lian, unflinching]
And that is only to selfishly think so, of my eighteen years of life, compared to your eight-hundred.
i cannot believe this is week 0 and shit is this deep already.
[ What parts can you forget until you become someone that is no longer yourself?
that resonates with xie lian more than soo-won was probably intending it to. something flickers across his expression, just briefly, and xie lian looks up with him, towards the hawk. if he closes his eyes, he can imagine the black, black sky in yong'an all those years ago overhead, the bai wuxiang's terrors; he takes a deep breath, in, and out, and it just seems like a thoughtful pause, as he considers the statement.
his voice is calm. ] ...I do believe that you can forget things, and become a stranger to yourself.
[ his eyes open again, up at the sky, letting the light flood in. ] Under great duress, no matter who you are, or what you may define 'duress' as, terrible, ugly things can come out of us all, and we can lose sight of what makes us "us", especially when the very things that give us those definitions could be quite literally taken away. To be stripped of everything you've ever known can damage you to the point that it feels as if looking at your own reflection will show the face of a stranger.
...however, I think that losing sight of your nature is only temporary. You can be stripped down to your very core and left with nothing, but even with no memories or no things that make you you, you are still left with choices of what you want to do as you move forward - or if you choose not to move forward, at all. No one can take that from you.
In essence, that choice is what makes such loss of nature truly impossible. The reasons for it may change - perhaps your reasoning may change only to save yourself, instead of to help others - but ultimately, the choice that you make will define you more than the memories that you may lose.
[ xie lian turns his head back to look at soo-won properly; his expression shifts from more serious to something a little more sheepish. ] ...At least, that is as far as I believe.
soo-won has no experience to match it against - since he was born, he had an idea of who he was meant to be, taught by his family and lineage. yet now he stands alone - and only his memories inform his intentions, his plans. should those be taken from him, what nature of person would he be?]
So you consider a person - whether they be human or spirit or other entity - to be separate from the cumulation of their experiences. That their reasoning for action may change, but those actions might still be the same even if they do not recognize themselves.
[he can't help but offer a smile that is combination curiosity and ruefulness - ]
Is that still truly a choice then? Or is it fate? Predetermined paths?
In some ways, yes. In some ways, no. I wouldn't say that their actions will always be the same - that rather, they may have to find their way back to who they were. They may misstep or stumble, or fail along the way. I don't believe that will be an easy journey, no matter what the situation is.
[ STOP TRIGGERING MY CHARACTER PLOT PHRASES
there's a pause. xie lian smiles, as soo-won asks his last question, and there's a flint to his eyes that looks determined, a countenance much more upright than the scrap-collecting weirdo that he's mostly seemed to be. the fierce eyes of a former prince, maybe, or - someone who has truly lived his eight centuries of life, and every up and down along the way. ]
Someone told me once that there was it was impossible to go against fate - that even when faced with a decision, you could only walk one of two paths. Either yes, or no.
I believe that if you don't like the paths that are predetermined for you, then you simply must take a third path, and forge one on your own away from the fate's designs.
[ once, xie lian had thought this to be his mantra. another time, he'd thought himself arrogant for ever believing it.
but after eight hundred years, xie lian has not regretted living by his own path. every mistake and every sorrow he has caused and experienced have been his own. ] Even now, after the centuries that I have lived, I still feel the same way.
[soo-won is (almost) 19 but his mind is older - but ultimately he does find himself listening to this. it's less that he's set in his ways, or that it's hard to influence him - but when he asks questions of others, it's almost entirely because he wants to see their view of the world.
he always claimed to desire the will and strength of the people - and he knows that xie lian is not a normal person, given just how long he's lived - but he is, at the same time, someone who will never look away from someone else's truth.
and now he understands that xie lian is sharing something important with him. he offers a bit of a smile, understanding - ]
I believe that assessing situations, and forging paths based on what you discern, is ultimately the only thing that anyone can ever truly do.
It's interesting to hear your perspective - that someone may always come back to who it is that they, for a lack of better words, truly are.
[he tilts his head]
Given the future that may lay ahead of us - I hope that this perspective of yours bears fruit.
Only time will tell. I'm not much of an expert. [ xie lian gives him a sheepish smile, then, any of that seriousness fading away pretty quickly. he's not the best person in the world to give advice, considering.... anything. ]
[he'll be open about it, because it's very recent information, and he isn't the type to come to decisions quickly based on emotion or gut feeling]
I'm a bit different from other people, I'd think. Most of my life is rather simplified in the sense that my goals are easily articulated - it's perhaps something that my father taught me.
And so comes the question - will I change if I forget those goals, or will I change if I forget my father's influence?
There are many ways in which it's possible to lose sight of one's self, when you consider the whole of a person... and I think that one's choices, memories, and life path often shape their worldview.
Yet I do not want to think it hopeless enough that if we no longer have memories, then we are only shells - it's something I'd like to ask our guides about, given that they seem to no longer have their memories, but retained their personalities.
So that does give me some hope, if they're telling the truth.
[at the very least, he's not the type to deny what he sees and witnesses with his own eyes and ears. if the proof is right there in front of him, it's easier to understand.]
[ wise words! those of someone with a good head on their shoulders. xie lian nods. ]
It seems as though we won't know much of anything until the process begins. It's best not to jump into it assuming the worst case scenario, which I'd like to avoid in the first place. I have no intentions of failing such an important task, if I can help it.
[ there's a beat, and then xie lian adds, sounding a touch wry. ] You know, I wish I had had some of your foresight, when I was your age...
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[ xie lian greets him properly, a bow with his fist pressed to his hand. ] I'm alright - it's nice to have some sort of information, though there's quite a bit left to process.
Have you come here to ponder it all, yourself?
no subject
[he'll be honest about it]
And it makes you think on the nature of memories, does it not?
no subject
[ xie lian's interest is genuine, even if magic is more familiar to him, in some senses of the word. ]
no subject
Or will that moment never come, because regardless of memory, the nature of a person is always the same?
The me of right now will help without caring for whatever wish I'm promised - because the universe is at stake, and that is reason enough. Will the me of two weeks from now, if my memories are truly taken, be a different man?
[he turns back to xie lian, unflinching]
And that is only to selfishly think so, of my eighteen years of life, compared to your eight-hundred.
i cannot believe this is week 0 and shit is this deep already.
that resonates with xie lian more than soo-won was probably intending it to. something flickers across his expression, just briefly, and xie lian looks up with him, towards the hawk. if he closes his eyes, he can imagine the black, black sky in yong'an all those years ago overhead, the bai wuxiang's terrors; he takes a deep breath, in, and out, and it just seems like a thoughtful pause, as he considers the statement.
his voice is calm. ] ...I do believe that you can forget things, and become a stranger to yourself.
[ his eyes open again, up at the sky, letting the light flood in. ] Under great duress, no matter who you are, or what you may define 'duress' as, terrible, ugly things can come out of us all, and we can lose sight of what makes us "us", especially when the very things that give us those definitions could be quite literally taken away. To be stripped of everything you've ever known can damage you to the point that it feels as if looking at your own reflection will show the face of a stranger.
...however, I think that losing sight of your nature is only temporary. You can be stripped down to your very core and left with nothing, but even with no memories or no things that make you you, you are still left with choices of what you want to do as you move forward - or if you choose not to move forward, at all. No one can take that from you.
In essence, that choice is what makes such loss of nature truly impossible. The reasons for it may change - perhaps your reasoning may change only to save yourself, instead of to help others - but ultimately, the choice that you make will define you more than the memories that you may lose.
[ xie lian turns his head back to look at soo-won properly; his expression shifts from more serious to something a little more sheepish. ] ...At least, that is as far as I believe.
no subject
soo-won has no experience to match it against - since he was born, he had an idea of who he was meant to be, taught by his family and lineage. yet now he stands alone - and only his memories inform his intentions, his plans. should those be taken from him, what nature of person would he be?]
So you consider a person - whether they be human or spirit or other entity - to be separate from the cumulation of their experiences. That their reasoning for action may change, but those actions might still be the same even if they do not recognize themselves.
[he can't help but offer a smile that is combination curiosity and ruefulness - ]
Is that still truly a choice then? Or is it fate? Predetermined paths?
no subject
[ STOP TRIGGERING MY CHARACTER PLOT PHRASES
there's a pause. xie lian smiles, as soo-won asks his last question, and there's a flint to his eyes that looks determined, a countenance much more upright than the scrap-collecting weirdo that he's mostly seemed to be. the fierce eyes of a former prince, maybe, or - someone who has truly lived his eight centuries of life, and every up and down along the way. ]
Someone told me once that there was it was impossible to go against fate - that even when faced with a decision, you could only walk one of two paths. Either yes, or no.
I believe that if you don't like the paths that are predetermined for you, then you simply must take a third path, and forge one on your own away from the fate's designs.
[ once, xie lian had thought this to be his mantra. another time, he'd thought himself arrogant for ever believing it.
but after eight hundred years, xie lian has not regretted living by his own path. every mistake and every sorrow he has caused and experienced have been his own. ] Even now, after the centuries that I have lived, I still feel the same way.
no subject
but his mind is older- but ultimately he does find himself listening to this. it's less that he's set in his ways, or that it's hard to influence him - but when he asks questions of others, it's almost entirely because he wants to see their view of the world.he always claimed to desire the will and strength of the people - and he knows that xie lian is not a normal person, given just how long he's lived - but he is, at the same time, someone who will never look away from someone else's truth.
and now he understands that xie lian is sharing something important with him. he offers a bit of a smile, understanding - ]
I believe that assessing situations, and forging paths based on what you discern, is ultimately the only thing that anyone can ever truly do.
It's interesting to hear your perspective - that someone may always come back to who it is that they, for a lack of better words, truly are.
[he tilts his head]
Given the future that may lay ahead of us - I hope that this perspective of yours bears fruit.
no subject
What do you think, Won? Of your own question.
no subject
[he'll be open about it, because it's very recent information, and he isn't the type to come to decisions quickly based on emotion or gut feeling]
I'm a bit different from other people, I'd think. Most of my life is rather simplified in the sense that my goals are easily articulated - it's perhaps something that my father taught me.
And so comes the question - will I change if I forget those goals, or will I change if I forget my father's influence?
There are many ways in which it's possible to lose sight of one's self, when you consider the whole of a person... and I think that one's choices, memories, and life path often shape their worldview.
Yet I do not want to think it hopeless enough that if we no longer have memories, then we are only shells - it's something I'd like to ask our guides about, given that they seem to no longer have their memories, but retained their personalities.
So that does give me some hope, if they're telling the truth.
[at the very least, he's not the type to deny what he sees and witnesses with his own eyes and ears. if the proof is right there in front of him, it's easier to understand.]
no subject
It seems as though we won't know much of anything until the process begins. It's best not to jump into it assuming the worst case scenario, which I'd like to avoid in the first place. I have no intentions of failing such an important task, if I can help it.
[ there's a beat, and then xie lian adds, sounding a touch wry. ] You know, I wish I had had some of your foresight, when I was your age...
no subject
If I ever cross paths with your younger self, or if you happen to lose your way from your memories, I'll try to share what I can.
I'm afraid I've never known how to be anyone other than myself.
[foresighted, airheaded-ness, and all]