[ captain old raven sir ]

[recrowns]

the shitpost will come

Comments

week 1, post-trial

[recrowns]

[soo-won is going to go and find raven!

and he will begin with perhaps a very heavy topic

but also a very sincere, saddened look:]

Why is it that you wish to meet your end?

[laid]

You kids just cut right to the chase, don't you?
[SIGHS.]

It's not that I wanna die. It's just that if someone had to, I figured it made sense.

[recrowns]

[there's a gentle smile at that - unfortunately

he is the type of person who is not very good at looking away from things]

You said that you did not wish to be revived.

So you are a dead man walking because you believe you have been condemned to death once, and you have nothing to live for now?

[laid]

[Raven is vibrating gently with the energy of a man who does not want to be here having this conversation.]

It... It's complicated. When I first woke up, all I wanted was ta stop. But that was ten years ago.
[He opens his mouth to say "so obviously I have stuff to live for now" but!!! But!!!!]

[recrowns]

[ . . . . ]

What have you done in the ten years since?

Are you happy?

[laid]

[Haha.]

... I can't answer that.

[recrowns]

Because the answer is no?

Or because happiness is complicated?

[laid]

[He meant both questions but this works in his favor, so.]

I guess the latter? I ain't so dead inside that I don't ever enjoy myself, but it's not like...
[Hmmmm.]

There's a lot of stuff I can't forget even if I wanted to.
[Well. For now.]

[recrowns]

[ . . . . he hums softly at that

before bowing his head]

Thank you for answering truthfully.

[laid]

[Laughs in spoilers!!!]

Sorry if it wasn't the answer you were hopin' for. Like I said before, I ain't worthy of any sorta high esteem.
[Surely this will free him from "Captain Old Raven"]

[recrowns]

[there's just a little bit of a surprised look at that]

.... what answer would I be hoping for....?

[laid]

How should I know? I ain't all rosy cheeked and optimistic like you kids are.

[recrowns]

[ . . . .

haha.

there's just a bit of a smile at that, though it looks more gently amused than anything]

.... No, I'm afraid that's not the type of answers I search for - or believe exist for every single person I speak to. While it is a noble future and hope....

I seek only your honesty, in whatever form it may come.

[laid]

....
[Honesty.... No he's terrible at that. Haven't you read his profile, Soo-won.]

Well. If it's honesty you're committed to, then tell me. Can you honestly say we're better off letting everyone shoot me down and executin' some innocent teenager instead?

[recrowns]

[maybe but that won't stop him from trying!

he's just going to pause at that]

You wish for me to answer honestly? With what I truly think?

[laid]

Sure. I think you know my answer. Might as well get yours.

[recrowns]

[he nods and answers - apparently entirely sincerely]

I am not interested in the business of weighing lives against one another. Kano made choices that led to what happened to him, and that is why the results skewed that way. While he was innocent, everyone needs to understand the weight of their actions.

You can say he was innocent - but he chose not to give answers. It would be looking away from his decisions, misguided though they may be, to automatically assume that of him. He chose to mislead everyone, and to force our hands in spending greater amounts of time to verify his guilt or innocence instead of allowing the trial to progress.

I don't know if we're better off.

But I know that you didn't receive enough votes to weigh against his choices.

And I think your life has just as much meaning as his, even if you disagree.

[laid]

[Well. All that makes a lot of sense. Part of him wants to protest, that Shiro had a point, it was acting out, and kids shouldn't be punished with death for that. But Soo-won, and Clem who had argued with Shiro were right too. This is an extraordinary circumstance, you can't apply normal rules to it.

Still, he thinks of Harry, of Karol, both boys around Kano's age. If they made a mistake in their stubborn youthful foolishness... He couldn't stand by and let something like this happen to them. It's hard. Being a kid is hard, being an adult is hard. Being alive is hard. Maybe being dead is hard too.

Raven mulls Soo-won's words over for a long time, until finally;]
Y'know, in the guilds, it's the responsibility of the guildmaster ta be accountable fer anything one of his members do.

[recrowns]

Is that so?

And in this situation, who would be the guildmaster?

[laid]

Well, that's the problem, ain't it?
[NO STRUCTURE!]

You could say his team leader but it's not like they agree ta have him any more than he did. You could say Shiro, but Kano kept battin' away his offers ta help. It ain't a guild sorta situation if both parties ain't agreed to it, y'know?

[Anyway, the relevance;]
I guess I'm just wishing fer that sort of simplicity.

[recrowns]

[ . . . . . and he offers a smile at that, nodding in understanding, before it gently fades as he speaks.]

.... it would be nice, if we could simply take responsibility for the people who need help - so that they have chances to grow instead of stumbling.

But there are some who don't want others to be involved in their business.

Even so...

You are a good person, Raven. I hope you do not fall under the impression that you must take responsibility for anyone, simply because you think you are less deserving of life than them.

[laid]

[Less deserving, huh. Well, he can't really say he doesn't think that. What has he really done these past ten years, to deserve the life he got? But...]

It's not just that. I mean, I'm a fair bit older than a number of you, Kano included. I had my chance ta grow up, make mistakes, learn better, and find a cause ta stake my life on. More than once, really. Hell, I didn't realize what an idiot I was until I was in my 20s. I guess I just want all the kids here ta live long enough ta get the chance to turn themselves around that I did.

[recrowns]

[ . . . . ]

Is that meant to convince me that you are not a good person?

[his smile is a bit wry]

That is a good wish. Maybe if your team wins, you can make it for certain - to allow all youth a chance to grow past their difficult days... and make it to the other side.

[laid]

[He laughs.]

Kind words're all well and good, but I'm not exactly any good at acting on 'em. I'm too wrapped up in myself ta make any real difference in situations like this.

[recrowns]

... you really are fond of putting yourself down...